I'm still sick

It was very imprudent - not to console and support me in moments of sadness, when I needed it most of all. When I'm not at home, I'm sick, I can not even go out into the street, torn from life to some hell of constant thoughts about what will happen, and now what i can do, when every morning I wake up with frank horror before the future, and yourself the thought of having to somehow meet people leads me to a shiver, and this I can not control, and even more so to explain why this is happening to me and where I get these tantrums on a flat place.
When everything is so bad, I really need that a person who says that he loves me, showed: - he is here, he is near, everything will be fine. Tonight, I was even scared to walk, becauseit seemed to me, wherever I moved - the ground fell under my feet. And frankly, I will be frank, G. behaved wrong, he just avoided the problem by disabling the phone, I feel that all this only divided us.
And of course, P. came to me aid, fed me, warmed him, calmed him down, and accepted me without reservation - with shattered nerves, a lot of problems, illnesses, failures and absurdities. There is a saying - "Friends are known in trouble," and on this basis, I made some conclusions from this misfortune. And maybe, for the first time in many months, I think that maybe he let's go to the devil's mother, that's all.