Maybe It’s You

I know we all know of someone who blames the world for all of their problems and no matter what situation they are in, something bad always happens. Despite their nonstop complaining and bitching you still sometimes feel bad for them , but sometimes its time to let those people go as friends. My mother has a friend like this and my mother, content with finding friends that have it worse off than she does, continues to pander to this woman. There is a point in life that these people need to realize that if everything is going wrong for them, then maybe its them not the world. I want to shake this woman and tell her to stop blaming her problems on the world.

There are three types of people when it comes to how someone deals with a problem. The first kind blame it on themselves and think that they should have done better or could have done more to avoid the problem. The second blame the world and everyone else for all of their problems and find excuses to everything that doesn’t go their way and continue through life doing this. Finally the third are people who assess the situation and acknowledge correctly when sometimes it is their fault or accept that if it isn’t, things cant be helped. While the third kind of person is the most healthy way to approach problems, many people inevitably fall into the first and second category of people.

The problem with the first kind of person is sometimes things aren’t your fault, they don’t happen for a reason, they just happen, which these people find hard to accept. The benefit to this type of person is they often use it as motivation to better themselves and can be positive thinkers. The second kind is the real problem in my opinion as in my experience these people wander through life never evolving as human beings or even trying to better themselves. In fact many times they go out of their way just to find other miserable people they can latch on and relate to. The saying “misery loves company” is a saying for a reason.

The woman in question in my mothers’ life is unemployed, divorced, a borderline alcoholic and verbally abuses her children. I would know because until we went our separate ways in college, her son was one of my best friends. He didn’t share her same attitude, in fact her abuse made him fall into the first category of people, but he was still a very negative person. Im not claiming to be the most optimistic person alive, but it was very hard to convince him that sometimes things weren’t his fault.

Ultimately now he barely even talks to his mother because of years of abuse, but he still has issues that came along with that.
There isn’t much you can do to force people who bring everyone around the down, to do , but you can distance yourself from them. Friends are supposed to be there to support you and foster growth within you and those who do the complete opposite many times aren’t your friend. Ill end on the advice I gave my mother about her situation. Even if you have a friend for 10 years, sometimes letting them go so they can reevaluate their lives is the best thing you can do for them.

-Calaber24p