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A few weeks ago, a neighbor of mine had the rug pulled out from under her.
My neighbor, S Lady, moved in over four years ago with her husband and three children. This was their first home and had never been so happy! The three kids had a yard to play in and each had a room of their own. Her husband had a deck area for a grill (which he purchased immediately) and room in the basement for his tools. She had a second bathroom for the daily 5 minutes of peace that mothers get. No more having to pack up and move after a lease ended. No longer having to watch that noises didn't bother the other tenants. They could hang whatever they wanted to on the walls and paint said walls any color they wanted. They could finally have pets!
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Her family was able to have a home thanks to her brother. He buys properties, fixes and flips them. When S Lady told him that she was looking for new place to lease, he made her an offer. She could pay him monthly for the house until he recouped his investment, and then it would be hers. Rent to own. My neighbor was ecstatic and filled with gratitude.
There were repairs that needed to be made to the house. The roof was leaking and needed to be replaced. The front porch was sinking and had to be jacked up and leveled off. The plumbing was wonky and didn't work well in the upstairs bathroom. S Lady and her husband agreed to pay for these repairs out of their pockets since he was giving them such a deal on the house.
My neighbor arrived home from doing errands one day to find her brother sitting on the porch. He proceeded to tell her that he had been having a tough time financially. Then, he told her that he was going to sell the house. S Lady told me later on that she thought he meant his house at first. When what he said had filtered in, she reminded him about the agreement they had. He told her that there was never such an agreement. He felt that he had done them a favor for letting them live in the house as long as he had. S Lady and her family could stay in the house until the beginning of January.
Understandably, S Lady was devastated. She had to go inside, still crying and face her children. She had to tell them that they would have to move again. They asked their mother, "why?" and she only told them that times were hard and it had to happen. Her children asked what was going to happen to their cats and the dog. They wanted to know if they were going to be able to find a bigger house. My neighbor told them that they would try their best.
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Now, S Lady is searching for a new home. I asked her why she didn't fight her brother legally and she told me that it was her own fault. That they only had an oral agreement and there wasn't any proof of the terms. In the beginning, she figured that he would give her papers to sign, but he never did. After a while, she assumed that since they were family, a contract wasn't needed. She had heard, "family and money do not mix", but figured that was other people's families. It was a harsh lesson for her. She still can't bring herself to talk with her brother. She told me that looking at him made her sick. She's made plans to avoid family gatherings that he'll be attending. He didn't just break his promise, he broke her trust in him.
I wanted to share this story today because there was a fellow Steemian last night who had something similar happen to her. She had paid for a place to live and the owner sold it to someone else while keeping her money. She will be pursuing legal action. Unfortunately, that still leaves her in a bind at the moment. But, she has some ideas and I hope they pan out for her.
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Whenever there is an agreement that involves property, money, services, etc., get the details in writing. Even if you completely trust the other party, make a contract. Think of it as you looking out for them as well as yourself. It doesn't have to be something long and filled with legal jargon. The Small Business Administration has an article Contract Law - How to Create A Legally Binding Contract that will set you in the right direction.
Thank you for reading! Have you ever had an experience with family or friends breaking agreements? Were you able to resolve the issue? If so, leave a comment below, please.
Good advice. Sorry for your neighbor.
Thanks. I'm hoping that she'll find something even better for her family.
Unfortunately this happens far too often.
Especially when it comes to your residence. With the housing/homeless epidemic we are currently suffering,
It feels difficult asking someone, especially a family member, to sign a contract. But think of it like this- when you are watching a public speaker, are you scrutinizing their every move? No, but they think you are. Just as you feel everyone is judging you when you're in front of the crowd.
Asking for the legally binding contract is not as difficult as you play out in your head. It's your life. And your family is worth it :)
Thank you! I agree that we have a responsibility to our families to make sure our homes are protected legally. I think that was another reason that my neighbor was so devastated. She feels that she let down her children.
She's a hardworking, kind-hearted and intelligent woman and I know she will find another home, hopefully better than this one. She's still being too hard on herself over this. She needs to forgive herself. Her friends have told her that it is a very common mistake that a lot of people have made, and she admitted that she knows . We're always harshest on ourselves.
I believe she will get a better place and I pray she forgives her brother because it will be the healthy thing to do especially for her children sake and that's the only way she will find peace since he's family and the children will see him in the future and may have to communicate with him.
In my case I will forgive but I need back my money from that wicked strange man who took my money, so he doesn't do it to anyone else
I agree, althea. Forgiveness will bring peace. It may be a while coming, but she's a good egg and I believe that she will.
Good for you! Forgiveness doesn't mean letting him get away with being a shyster. You standing up to him will not only be great for you, but for others as well! (Brisby fist pumps air) Fight on Pretty Lady! !
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Thank you @cmtzco!!
I love the way you write, awesome and thanks for your motivation. This will help a lot of people.
Thank you!! ❤ I'm happy to have been a motivator! Here's to hoping that it helps others. There's no shame in a written agreement. At the very least, it prevents misunderstandings.