Negative Thought Patterns – How do they Work and Why do we have them? Second in Self Help Series
Negative Thought Patterns – How do they Work and Why do we have them?
The second in my Self Help series written just for the Steemit Community. If you missed the first article on Negative Programs, you can find it
Negative thought patterns are known as cognitive distortions, which means thoughts that are false = false or negative programs.
Constantly focusing on our worst memories can make us forget our best ones.
With every single thought, new neural connections are made, therefore if we focus more on the negative, we become hard wired and unchangeable.
Even thinking about events that cause strong emotions in us reinforce and strengthen those neural connections thus allowing our worst memories to take over and become who we are.
This can cause us to:
See the worst in all situations.
Make judgments through our own false programs.
Make false accusations or blame others for our own mistakes.
Make yourself the victim.
Believe in our false programs and teach our kids the same.
Self abuse, self blame.
Subconsciously, at our worst we create situations or relationships that reinforce our learnt negative programs.
This is why we look for contentment in a new car, a new pair of shoes or a cigarette, but it’s not the way to eternal happiness.
Only we can recognise our own negative programs, no one can do it for us.
The origin of negativity can always be traced back to a certain point in time, often surrounding unique circumstances that aren’t always momentous or even dramatic events. Even the slightest experience can have a negative impact.
Sally’s Story:
Sally came to me at the point when she was planning to end her life. She had a secret that she didn’t usually share. As a child she had been molested by a married couple. She carried it through her entire life and the burden only grew. She had no idea that these circumstances had created a multifaceted program of fear and paranoia.
Her marriage ended in failure and she lost touch with her family, children and her friends. She created a world where her filters only saw the negative through TV, the radio and in the newspapers.
Sally view of the world: (though her eyes):
Sally saw a young girl walking a dog accompanied by her teenage sister, who had short hair and wore cargo pants.
Sally immediately assumed the teen was a boy that had ghastly intentions toward the young girl. She stopped the girls and began to question them.
Sally’s false programs and filters were in full swing. She did not recognise the soft shy voice in the older girl nor did she hear them explaining they were sisters.
She saw and heard only parts of information that would feed her fears.
This is how Sally viewed the world:
When I intervened Sally took a lot of convincing that they were both girls and in fact my children!
People will only see what their programs allow them to. Selective viewing, selective hearing, all comes from false filters and programs.
Sally continued to feed her false programs like small fish and soon they grew into monstrous sharks that overtook her entire life! She no longer had control over them. She even read books about abuse victims as a way to reinforce her belief of how terrible the world is.
After many sessions, Sally’s life slowly changed to take a more positive outlook she began to see that the world maybe wasn’t as bad as she had thought.
Once the origin of her negativity was revealed, she could see the circumstances behind the program and the threads that have evolved since. We will talk more about threads later.
With coaching she is working through her programs and is even writing her memoirs!
So with my help, she went from suicidal to finding something positive to channel her energy into.
We all live with negative programs, but it doesn’t mean we have to view the world that way. I’m a victim of domestic violence and suffered horrible physical abuse as a child. But it is NOT who I am. I am not a victim and do not view myself that way.
My own history is an example of programs being set up from childhood. I was molested and physically abused as a child, so I kept running those same programs throughout adulthood. I looked for relationships that would almost destroy me. It was all I knew. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a subconscious choice.
Today I am a different person. I still have skeletons in my closet (or skelepons as my 12 Aspergers child calls them).
I was a victim for a long time (unknowingly) and drew in people that would harm me.
Think for a moment about the person that inspires you the most. If it’s a sportsperson, then how do you think they view the world or themselves? I doubt that person is negative, because we only look up to successful, positive people and even want to be like them. There is a way…
Stay tuned for more in this Self Help series, original work written just for the Steemit community.