Why is it important to stop devaluing yourself
Life isn't perfect right now, but I want to remind you that devaluation is very harmful. It destroys inside us and affects how we see others. Sometimes, devaluing someone can look like giving criticism.
But usually, the result is very different. If we keep devaluing ourselves, it becomes hard to succeed or improve.
A small dislike of how we see ourselves in the mirror might seem tiny. Still, it’s often just the surface of a bigger problem — self-deprecation.
In psychology, devaluation means underestimating the importance of events, qualities, achievements, or feelings. It can be directed at yourself or others. Devaluation is a way our mind protects us. It helps us adjust to different situations.
But sometimes, this protection becomes too much or inappropriate. Then, it’s important to recognize and understand why it happens. Often, people notice that devaluation creates discomfort and holds them back, both personally and in relationships.
Eva, a 35-year-old woman with many career successes and high goals, had a deep, unconscious pattern of devaluing herself. She constantly denied her worth, aimed for perfection, and was afraid of mistakes.
This inner fight caused emotional burnout and periods of depression. She often felt disappointed in herself, even when she had many achievements.
To others, she might seem successful, but inside, she didn’t accept her wins or feel happy about them. Her tendency to devalue herself kept her in constant motion, trying to beat her negative self-view.
Working with a psychologist, Eva learned to see her pattern of self-devaluation. She traced it back to childhood and understood how it affected her life and feelings. She also realized that her habit of devaluing herself helped her succeed in some ways.
But she didn’t want to damage what she had built through hard work. Over time, she found new ways to stay motivated without relying on punishment or praise. She understood that success can come without the constant push of "carrots and sticks."
Stories like Eva’s are common. Many people start to devalue themselves in childhood. Parents, society, or life will often give negative beliefs about oneself. Sometimes, adults do this on purpose. Other times, they do it without realizing.
Kids who do better than others may think they are not smart or successful enough. They may dismiss their wins because their families talk about being modest and not showing off.
Everyone has qualities that make them special. But fear of attention or success can make us devalue ourselves. We might think we don’t deserve good things or worry about standing out.
It’s important to see that devaluation creates a bad cycle. It makes us trust ourselves less and feel resentful. The more we belittle ourselves, the more likely we are to criticize others. This only deepens the problem and makes things worse. It’s a downward spiral that doesn’t lead to anything good.
To break this cycle, we first need to see the truth. We all have flaws and make mistakes, but that doesn’t define us. We are still worthy. Recognizing this is the first step to change.