Being Gay at an Engineering University
Hello!
(this is the only image I could get my hands on of me at the end of high school)
As I finished high school in 2014, I saw the other LGBT people in my class get ready to go to art school, culinary school, liberal art's colleges, or just jump into the real world. This is also what most people were doing as well, but I was the only LGBT person I knew going into Engineering.
As I started school, I was worried that I would spend four years without any community to go to. In this blog post, I will reveal to you THE TRUTH about what it is like to be an queer engineer.
(this photo I took for thermodynamics is the only photo I could find of myself at school)
The record of my experience
When I started school, there was one LGBT club on campus, and it had 5 people in it, and my RA was gay. Other than these people, I didn't know of any way to communicate with other LGBT people on campus, or if they even existed!
During my second year, I noticed the LGBT club was now known as oSTEM, and was starting to grow. oSTEM is a nationwide engineering specific LGBT professional organization (I have linked their homepage below.) I still did not join oSTEM, as I was still in the process of coming out. I had a boyfriend who encouraged me to go, but was taking steps forward very slowly. By the end of the year, I had reached out to them. It was this year that I was out to most people I cared to tell. I didn't have a single friend that expressed any prejudice against me. In fact, everyone was very kind and supportive!
Everything exploded my third year! I went to my first oSTEM meeting, and there were tons of people attending (and they had free Qdoba!) Suddenly, I was able to make a small group of LGBT friends and allies. I became a mentor for the LGBT mentoring program (though I don't know if I was qualified for the position) and started working booths on campus during event days. I found that most strangers on campus were very kind, and graciously accepted our free stuff on campus.
I am currently in my senior year, and the club has grown to over 150 people. We have integrated into larger governing bodies on campus, and thought it was a good idea to put me in charge of social media. The club even has its' own dedicated space on campus, with a big rainbow carpet in it!
The upsides
(from a search on google)
Even at a more conservative, energy-focused engineering college, my university is still a fairly open minded place just like any other. There is a large supportive community there, and they are trying to be very visible. I have only met nice and positive people. The community is very healthy.
I have also found myself in two relationships during these four years. Neither of them came out of this club, but both were with engineers. Both relationships were normal, healthy relationships with people I met in the real world.
Although I haven't discussed my identity with any of my professors, most of them have the rainbow safe-zone training stickers on their doors. Ten years ago, there was no safe-zone training at the school at all.
Even on social media (like facebook and yikyak and stuff,) I have never seen any hateful speech about the LGBT community. In survey's taken on campus, there is more support for the LGBT community at the university then there is nationally (per capita.)
The university experience was overall more of a positive experience than I could have hoped for.
The downsides
Engineering school is hard. There is an overwhelming feeling on campus that your time should be spent studying and working. While I don't disagree with working hard, I think the school doesn't allow room for personal growth (outside of learning to work hard.) I know that this has discouraged some people in the LGBT community from joining, thinking that learning to accept themselves is a waist of their time.
According to the same polls that say the general campus is accepting of the LGBT community, there are many LGBT people who anonymously reported that they were not comfortable on campus. They said they do not want to come out, and that being LGBT on campus made them nervous. I wish everyone had the same positive experience coming out as I did, but unfortunately it seems that many people still do not. However, from what I have gathered, the process of coming out at my university is getting easier for people every year.
Lastly, when applying for jobs, many friends of mine choose not to include oSTEM on their resumes for jobs, fearing that employers might discriminate against them. While I can confidently say this sort of discrimination is illegal, that does not mean it won't happen. That being said, there are many (possibly most) companies that have contributed to the HRC "Corporate Equality Index" and are working to prove that they are an inclusive workplace (I have linked the HRC report below.)
What makes it all possible
(I thought I needed another picture, so here is a photo of Boston I took)
The world is becoming a friendlier place every day, and the future is looking bright. I have gone through four years of school and gotten a job without any discrimination whatsoever. But I understand that I have had it REALLY EASY. Unfortunately, some prejudice still exists. The only reason my university has become a better place is because enthusiastic people decided to make a change. The world is primed and ready to become an excepting place for the LGBT community (at least in first world, western-ish, wealthy countries, plus a few cool exceptions.) And this change is started by you (yes reader, you.) We live in a time where we can make so much positive change for the LGBT community.
If any of you reading this are thinking of going into engineering, I would encourage it. Feel free to ask any question about being an engineer, a physicist, or a gay college student. Also, if you are an engineer, or an LGBT college student, please comment and let me know how it all went!
Regards,
farstate
oSTEM Homepage
HRC Corporate Equality Index
you need to take more photos of yourself, that way you could find more pics of you during these exciting times :]
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STOPThanks for sharing your experience with us. I am glad your time at university was nice and I agree things will slowly get better.
Great article!
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have the exactly same experience.
Once I had crossed the barrier, no more fear. :)
The world is becoming a fantastic place! I only wish I came out sooner
I didn't come out and transition until after I was out of school. But in the engineering job I've had since then (and still at) it's pretty much a non-issue. Nobody batted an eye, no problems...just business as usual....people being people. :)
That's fantastic! That makes me so happy to hear
Some of the most intelligent people that have ever existed have been lgbtq. It's a hard journey- but ... honestly, a lot of us are world changers. I'm sure you know about Alan Turing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing Check my post out about being gay and Christian if you like. Good post!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Did you wait to come out on campus and join the LGBT engineering student organization until you came out to more of your friends and family?
How did you feel once you were more out?
Did you have any boyfriends before you came out? If so, did not being out affect those relationships?
Were their any conflicts with close friends or family about your sexual orientation?
With respect to your thoughts on your fellow students, some of whom just were not out, I think each of us decides over time how we want to incorporate our sexual orientation into our identity. I think some people make the mistake of minimizing the impact that their sexual orientation has on their identity, and those people may come out late or may never be very out. My experience is that sexual orientation is an important aspect of identity. Most adults want to form romantic relationships at some point in their adult lives and our sexual orientation affects our choices about our relationships.
Did you wait to come out on campus and join the LGBT engineering student organization until you came out to more of your friends and family?
How did you feel once you were more out?
Did you have any boyfriends before you came out? If so, did not being out affect those relationships?
Were their any conflicts with close friends or family about your sexual orientation?
To your last point, I totally agree. Like I mentioned above, even when I knew I was gay, I never thought being gay was going to be an important part of my identity. I always thought that being an engineer and a musician and stuff would far outweigh it. But now being gay is something that brings me happiness daily!