November 30, 2016

Oh my goshhhhhhhhhh! So I started a post already and had just gotten very far into it and while I was typing I accidentally hit something that had made my whole thing clear. I tried right clicking and hitting the "undo" and "redo" option and had no luck. I'm seriously so irritated right now. So I'm going to try and type everything all over again. I've been thinking about making a daily journal on this site, where I will write one journal entry a day. I started this steemit site yesterday. I didn't want people thinking that I just started it, and wasn't going to post anything. I want to get more involved with this site because I am sick of watching so many movies while I'm home all day. I've watched a ton of movies and shows with Netflix, and Amazon video. I do have a daily journal that I write in everyday that is a notebook, however I guess that one is a little more personal.  I've been trying to think of a ton of shit I could write, or post. I have something really weird that I'd like to admit. I love to write, however I HATE to read. Does that make sense? Do any of you other writers out there feel that way. I guess I'm more of a journalist kind of writer. First of all this entry/post may not be completely formal, and I may jump around a lot with thoughts. If  I end up spelling things wrong too, forgive me. I'm not trying to make this completely perfect. My thoughts tend to jump around a lot in general. I'm seriously so irritated with the post I was writing before this disappearing out of nowhere. I feel like this one isn't off to a good start like the one I was writing before this. Anyway, I hope to get a lot of followers eventually on here. I remember back in high school I had this English teacher that made us keep a journal. We had to write in it in the beginning of class, but she would time us for ten minutes. As she timed us we had to keep writing whatever thoughts we had at that time. We weren't allowed to stop writing no matter what. I hated school, but I really liked that English class. The teacher was a little weird, but oh well. The only time I did like to read was when it was stuff that I was extremely interested in, and then I would write a "what I read" kind of thing. I hated to do book reports in high school. My mom used to read the books for me that I was supposed to read, and then she would tell me about the book, and help me write the report. Pathetic right? I really wish I did more of my work while I was in school. I was a lot smarter when I actually applied myself. While I was in school I remember thinking school was so hard for me. As I think about it now, it makes me think that shit would be cake now. I ended dropping out in 10th grade. I had failed a bunch of classes in 10th grade, but I did pass some. At that point I was taking 10th and 11th grade classes. Anyway, I'm so bored right now. I hate sitting home trying to think of shit to do all day until my daughter gets off the bus from school. I have a 4 year old daughter. She will be 5 on February 5th. Y'all are probably thinking "get a job." Haha. I did end up finding a job at a front desk for a hotel. I'm just not sure when I will start. I checked in with the manager the other day, and he did say that he definitely still plans to hire me. I can't wait to start working. I haven't had a steady job in a couple years. It's mainly because of all the dumb shit I got myself into. I'm a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. I've gotten into a lot of trouble the past couple years due to my addiction. I ended up doing so much dumb shit. Caught seven felonies and had to plea out to four. All my charges were related to my addiction, or was dumb crap I did to support my addiction. No prostitution though, LMAO. I'm glad I didn't do anything dumb as far as trying to sell myself or something like that cause I know a few girls that have done that. I didn't want anyone thinking that was something I did when I mentioned supporting my addiction.  I'm glad I wasn't one of those girls that stooped so low. I can't judge them though, cause I did my fair share of stupid shit. Back in June I ended going to a rehab in P.A. and successfully completed the program. On December 8th of this year I will be 6 months clean.  Anyway, I'm really just going on and on about myself. Like i said I'm not trying to make this perfect or completely organized. If there's anything specific you guys would like me to write about feel free to let me know in the comments, or write me a message using discord. My discord name is jcaxo83. I don't mind constructive criticism, but please do not judge me with any rude shit. Anything I find rude I just tend to ignore so I don't let it get to me. Once I start replying to negativity I'll let it get to me too much, so yes I'm just going to ignore any bullshit. Again, I really wish the post I started writing before this did not get deleted on me. I'm still stuck on that. Well, there's a lot more that I want to write about myself to tell you guys about. I understand if you guys are just getting bored at this point. I think this first entry I'm writing is like a second, and more deep "introducemyself" thing. Anything else you guys would like to know about feel free to ask. I swear my ideas are more creative. You ever wish the shit you thought was being written down as you were thinking it, or am I just crazy. Well, we're all a little crazy somehow so whatever. I got some crazy non-fictional stuff I want to write about as soon as I get some inspiration to do so. Like this heart surgery I had when I was 17 that was a very rare thing. It ended up being such a rare condition that I think they're still studying about to this day. After it happened I honestly had this doctor send me a letter in the mail talking about how it was such a rare condition that he was still studying and I had one of the worst cases of it. He asked me if he could use my story and details in a story that he was writing for some health magazine. I told him I would only sign the papers if he would send me a copy after he was done publishing this story. I will try to find it and once I do I will post that as well. Anyway, there's tons of other shit I would like to write about as well. There's some shit that happened to my brother while he was incarcerated at this one place. He has his own statement/story of what happened I just want to ask him permission first to post it. So, I'm trying to think of more shit to randomly talk about right now. I don't know if I want to wrap this up or not yet. I need some more people to follow, and I'm also hoping to get some more followers myself so please follow me if you like this post, and then I will know if I should continue the whole "daily journal" on here. I might make a youtube channel, but if I do it might not happen for a bit. I'm a little self conscious sometimes. Especially with a camera. I'll tell you guys some more specific interests I have if you guys have any ideas on things or people I can follow. I love music. I like talking about lyrics sometimes and their specific meanings. I'm literally obsessed with fishing, and fish in general. I have a 40 gal. fish tank I'm in love with. Anything about fish tanks I'm pretty interested in. I HATE other sports though. No sport things for me. I like things about nature depending on what it is. I'd also probably be interested in anything that deals with ghosts or spirits. Most importantly I'm interested in non-fictional things. So please no fictional stories. I'm also interested in talking about recovery if there's anyone out there that is a recovering or still suffering addict that needs help, support, or just an ear. Well I guess that's it for now. At some point today I'm going to look for that health story I mentioned and see if I can get that posted. I had a picture with my first "Introducemyself" post, but I'm going to post another one with this post as well. Big thanks for reading :) <3

Jessica Xo