- The husband paid his salary and took it home to prepare his wife.
Just said to his wife: "My dear, I paid a salary. Kiss me for your money."
The wife is slow and indifferent. The husband saw his wife did not respond.
He shouted again: "If you don't come again, I will go to someone to serve me and give her the money."
The wife faintly said: "If you dare to go, how do you spend the money, how can I earn it back?"
- The wife suddenly asked her husband: "Do you love me?" "Love, of course love!" The husband did not hesitate to answer. The wife thought and asked: "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband quickly said: "No, no, I am afraid that you will hurt me."
- Xiao Ming’s mathematics is not well transferred to a church school by his parents. After half a year, the math scores were all A. My mother asked: "Is it a good nun? Is it a good textbook? Is it a prayer?..." "No," Xiao Ming said. "On the first day of school, I saw a person being nailed to the plus, I will Know... they are playing really."
- In the public toilet, I suddenly heard someone talking in the toilet: "Man, do you have toilet paper?"
I flipped my pocket: "Sorry, no."
After a few seconds, the man asked again: "Is there a small newspaper?"
I smiled helplessly: "I'm sorry, no, I just came to urinate."
After a few more seconds, the door of the toilet room was stuffed with 10 yuan: "Can you change it to 10 pieces?"
I handed the money over and there was a roar in the toilet: "Don't give me ten coins!"
- Twenty years ago, Dad was waiting for you to wait for the car. Everyone laughed at the child and looked ugly. Dad cried. The old man who sold the banana patted his father and said, "Big brothers don't cry, take a banana and eat it for the monkeys! It's pitiful, hungry, no hair."
- Saying that a woman was on the rise, she bought a female parrot. I didn't expect to take it home. The first sentence it said was: "Want to go to bed with me?"
When the lady heard it, she thought: Broken, the outsider thought that this was what I taught. This does not ruin the image of my lady. So she tried her best to make the parrot say something elegant, but the female parrot was ironic and only said one sentence: "Want to go to bed with me?"
……How to do it? When the lady lost her claim, she heard that the priest also had a parrot (male), and that parrot, not only did not speak foul language, but was a devout believer, praying most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her intentions, he looked very sad and said: "This is very difficult to do. In fact, the parrot did not teach it anything deliberately. The reason why it is so pious is that it may have been immersed in it for a long time. Why?"
When the priest saw that the lady was very lost, she said, "Like this, you brought the parrot to me. I put them together. I hope that after a while, your parrot can be affected. I can only do this. If there is any effect, look at the will of God..."
When the lady listens, it can only be like this. There is no saying: Is it near Zhu? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest put the two parrots together according to his promise. At first, the female parrot was still somewhat cautious. Looking at the male parrot in the corner of the cage, silently praying, I really couldn't bear to bother. But she still couldn't help herself, and finally said, "Want to go to bed with me?"
When the parrot heard this, he stopped praying and turned to look at the female parrot. Suddenly tears fell: "Thank God, my wish to pray for so many years has finally come true..."
- The young man trudged in the mountains and experienced the obstacles. He finally found the Zen master in the mountains. He could not wait to ask: "I am ugly, what should I do?"
"If you grow ugly, you should be like me."
The young man nodded: "Is the heart as water-stopping?
"No, it’s ugly, just like me, hurry to find a deep mountain to hide."
- My daughter, who used to be more than 140 kilograms, is now slimming down.
I was unable to find a phone on the day, so I called my dad and called me. I used to call the father’s phone and showed the words “Dafei Pig”.
- Sudden power outages, "The hot days, but also let people live, really annoying." I complained.
The son said with a smile on his side: "I feel that the power outage is also very good."
Listening to him, he is even more angry: "A hot day, there is a benefit to power outages? I know what you said!"
My son was trained to bow his head and muttered: "I don't have to do my homework after the power outage..."
- The fisherman came back from fishing at night and saw that his son was intimate with the girl in the neighbor's house, and the fisherman asked: What are you doing?
Smiled and said: Dad, you don't understand, we call online dating!
- A school asks to buy learning materials. Everyone is 7 yuan. I have to spend 10 yuan to make myself spend a little money. As a result, my mom doesn't believe me. I ran to ask the classmates across the house. At that time, I was in my heart. I almost told you the truth.
I didn’t expect my mom to come back and say, “I didn’t listen to the teacher’s lectures when I saw the class. It’s obviously 12 people!”
- The subway is full of people, but those girls would rather stand and not want to sit around me. No one came to sit until I got to the station. "Don't it because my handsome let them fall into a deer and dare not approach me? Should I wear a mask next time?"
I put the socks on and ready to get off and reflect.
- After unremitting efforts, I quit my habit of playing mobile phones before going to bed, but I don’t know how long I can hold on, I can’t sleep for a lifetime!
- ——The research table shows that the order of Chinese characters is not fixed. It can be read and written. For example, when you read this sentence, the words in the present are all chaotic.
- One evening in the evening, Ah Q said to his new girlfriend: I can tell you a word to make you laugh. The girlfriend said no. At this time, Ah Q went to the front of a ha-height dog and slammed into the ground, only to hear a shout: Hey. The result attracted the laughter of all the hearers. Ah Q turned around and shouted to his girlfriend again: Mom.
- A man ran into the carriage and hurriedly said: "A wife in the next door fainted, who brought whiskey?"
Someone in the passengers soon took out the whiskey.
The man took it. I drank a few big mouths and then returned the bottle to the passengers. "Thank you very much. I am very uncomfortable when I see the lady fainting. This is much better."
- On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, did not catch anything, and went home.
The next day, the little white rabbit went to the river to fish, or did not catch anything, went home.
On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and yelled at the little white rabbit:
If you are fucking, if you dare to use the bait as a bait, I will slay you!
- Customer: "How can you sell wine without alcohol?"
The waiter took a message: "Oh, I am sorry, I forgot to give you a drink."
I know that everyone can like it.