Hello Steemit!!! - Zhenya's Introduction

My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was.
-GSnow, Reddit, 2011

Just bear with me Steemit, I promise the above quote will make a lot of sense soon. From my short presence here, I came to realize that it is customary for new users to make an introductory post. I also understood that anything posted here, remains on the blockchain forever. I find that totally fascinating. Thinking that what I am writing right now will be forever immortalized in the online world, gives me almost a sweet, thrilling rush of adrenaline. At the same time, the perpetuating nature of what gets posted here makes me a bit hesitant about giving you the traditional introductory post with personal information and photographic verifications. I consider privacy to be of the highest importance and my short experience with a previous blog I tried to have, helped me understand that people don’t always respect it. But besides, my full name, my exact location and my physical appearance are not what this blog will focus on. I am sorry if this disappoints you or insults you, but it is my decision for now. I can, however, offer you something which I consider way more personal and meaningful. In this blog you will hopefully discover everything that is happening in my mind. I will write about things which occupy my thoughts, inspire my imagination, trouble my brain and touch me on an emotional level. That, I believe, is the best way to really get to know someone.

I will introduce myself to you through a short, recent part of this journey that is my life. It’s a journey which let me to where I am today this exact moment, sitting on my balcony looking at the golden, scorching afternoon sun and writing this article. It is a journey which started with loss and grief, but I promise this article will not be a cry for attention. I will focus on how I managed to remain strong and be the survivor that the human evolution has made me. Steemit, my name is Zhenya and I am 24 years old. I was born in the beautiful Russian city of St. Petersburg but 3 years ago I took the big decision to move to Germany and pursue my dreams at a great University here. Life as a student is amazing. Other than the mandatory exams every few months, life has been pretty much worry-free. I live in a lovely city, with a large, vibrant student community, I have three amazing roommates which have become my best friends and I get to go out and enjoy myself every weekend. Life couldn’t be more amazing.

Unfortunately about 6 months ago, my dream life had to abruptly come to an end. The loss of a person I deeply loved forced me to return back to the tough reality of life. I will not get into more details because this article is not meant to focus on the drama. For the first few months my whole life was changed and I became a different person. After the initial few weeks of grief, I started seeking comfort online. That’s when I came across a sub-reddit and a post by an unknown user which only identified as GSnow. Besides the amazing quote I started this article with, he also described the process of human grief in the best way I had seen anywhere online. He compared the grieving human just like a man on a boat which was just destroyed by a storm. The news that you lost someone you loved so much, hit you just like that first, colossal wave that destroys your boat and leaves you drowning in the wild, dark waters surrounded by the wreckage of your life. It’s almost like everything that made your life beautiful is now floating around you ruined and in pieces.

At first, all you can do is float and survive. You hang on the scattered pieces of your life; a memory, a photograph, a gift from the person you loved, a friend – you just stay alive. Huge waves come and hit you again and again, one after the other. They come many times during the day and hit you without mercy making you feel helpless. They suffocate you and they crush you. But slowly, after a few weeks or months, these huge waves start to slow down. They still crash you when they come but in between you can breathe, you can start to hope and live again. These waves of grief can by triggered by anything; memories, photographs, everyday life events. But you learn to live with it. Slowly, the waves get smaller and smaller and they don’t come as often anymore. When they come, you start feeling more prepared for them, more ready to deal with whatever they might bring you. When you lose someone you love so much, the waves will never stop coming, but you learn to live with them, you discover your real strength as a human being and you start to survive.

All of the above, as written by the Reddit user GSnow, gave me courage and strength when I needed it the most. I didn’t feel alone anymore, I understood that life is like that for every human being. It helped me realize that the more the waves come, the stronger you become. This is the message I wanted to share with you in my first Steemit article. We will all have to deal with these feelings at some point in our lives. When that time comes, don’t try to avoid the waves. Face them, embrace them and learn to live with them. After you allow yourself an initial period of grief, start living your life again. Stand on your own two feet and continue being the survivor you were born to be. Keep yourself busy with life. Don’t become isolated because that’s when the waves hit you the hardest. Go out and continue living, put your time in doing the things you enjoy doing and spend it with the people you love. In the same manner that nature gave us ways to deal with hunger, thirst and the adversities of life, it has equipped us with the necessary mechanisms to deal with sadness and grief. The loss of a loved one will always leave a gap in our lives but the same way that I can be again the happy person I was 6 months ago and continue to enjoy my life, you can do the same.

Thank you for letting me introduce myself in this way Steemit and I can’t wait for what lies ahead for us!