Great post and I am sure took courage to write. I would not even pretend to say I understand what you must be going through and have gone through. But today is a new day and the past is the past and it's time to look ahead and plan for the day!
I recently had a guy tell me a great quote. "Hope Is Not A Plan"! On its face value it doesn't seem like much but, it is a very deep quote. So many of us use Hope as a plan to get through life such as "I hope I get that new job" or "I hope someday to travel the world". These are just dreams and nothing more unless you take hope and actually turn it into a plan and move forward with it.
So in short I have stopped using the word "hope" and now I use the words like "I need to make this happen" or "take the bull by the horns and get this done asap".
Sorry I was on a rant there! Lol
Anyways I enjoyed this post and look forward to reading the rest of your entries. Take care
@digestingreality