How to become the president of the world? Step-by-step instruction

in #instruction7 years ago

Many of us have bad days. For example, on the way to work, an anvil may fall on you or your former classmate, who always beat you and made you lick the soles of your shoes while other children laughed and pushed the nails into your eyes. When you come home, you will naturally feel full of exhaustion and fatigue. So, the main problem of this world lies in the fact that such days sooner or later happen to everyone. After all, we can't control the whole world to prevent such ... Or is it possible? In fact, there is nothing complicated in order to become a world ruler, just follow this short instruction. And when you get full control over the world, you'll adjust it in the way so that all the days are good.

  1. Unite the world. You see, seizing a divided world is extremely boring. Therefore, first of all you will need to unite it. There are two ways to unite the world: as they say in Russia - carrot in front and carrots from behind. Carrot at the front is something very useful and desirable, for which all the inhabitants of the Earth will unite in a single impulse. Carrots from behind - this is something very harmful and dangerous, against which all people will be forced to come forward as a united front. Let's start with the first option. What could you offer to the inhabitants of the earth? Do not be surprised if your opportunities here will be extremely scarce. If you decide to even spend a million dollars on this, every citizen of the Earth will not get a cent. And if you have something so valuable to be enough for everyone, why do you want to squander it like this? It is much more profitable to use it alone. There remains the second option - a carrot from behind. There is a huge field for imagination. Well, first of all, nuclear weapons. With its help, you can easily and at ease threaten the world with complete destruction (if you wonder how to create a nuclear weapon and handle it properly, this is what my blog all about, checkit). In addition, never forget about aliens. If you manage to get at least a few extraterrestrials in the vast expanses of space, your ideal scarecrow is ready. To intimidate, you can give aliens some threatening kind of objects, and on TV channels to launch "circulation", in which you in a suit and makeup, mowing under aliens, declare war on the Earth. Believe me, people will be scared hard.

  2. Become a Savior. So, a threat is coming to the world, people are in a panic, and they are trying to unite to give a general rebuff. It's where you step onto the stage. You are valiant and single-handedly defeating extraterrestrial invaders or deactivating nuclear weapons, which they themselves threatened. Done. You are a hero for all people on Earth.

  3. Arrange a press conference. Declare that your victory would not be possible if society were disunited. And that there are other threats in the world, so it would be better for humanity to continue to be one, and make you a universal ruler.

  4. Repeat the previous three steps every few years so people do not forget how good it is that you are their only ruler, and they are your slaves with whom you can do whatever you want.

  5. Kill everyone who knew you before you became a world ruler. These people will know that you are only a person, not a god, which you will represent in all media. Therefore, it is better for all of your relatives, friends and acquaintances to die. But this is not a big payment for the absence of bad days, is it?

So, we see that becoming a world leader is easy and pleasant. Are you still not a world leader? Well, start right now!

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Well now, why didn't I think of that!
Nice piece :-)