Do I represent India?

Currently I live in Germany. When I go for lunch with colleagues, I am often encountered with questions for example, “Are women allowed to work in India?” “Are women safe in India?” etc. The mushy piece of Kartoffel (Potato in German, which is a staple diet here) suddenly tastes dry and I cough a little. Being an Indian, these questions invoke emotions ranging from sadness, irritation to anger and humiliation. At the very moment, my mind makes a conversation with me “what do you mean by, are women allowed to work in India? Do I seem to be a rare Indian rebel, who just fought to come to Germany to work? What do you mean by, if women are safe in India? Do you think, I somehow escaped from the lustful Indian men and ran away to Germany?” Then coughs my mind internally, wondering how strongly or even harshly it can think of a reply. What I then do is sip some water and try to cool myself down. The mind then mellows down and makes a conversation with me again, this time rather a rational one “Is it a fault of those who are asking these questions? Do you think, they really want to irritate or humiliate you? All they know is from the glimpses of India which are shown via TV news. If this is what is highlighted, this is what they would think. And here they see an Indian woman, who works in Germany, so they would like to know the fact from the horse´s mouth. So, now go ahead and tell them what you think the reality is.”

I am now much comfortable to answer. (All this internal conversation takes place in a fraction of a second, so don’t worry, it´s not that the colleague who asked the question is staring at me for half an hour, waiting for an answer while observing the change of expressions on my face). I so want to answer “I don’t think you have the right impression or information about India”, because I am protective, possessive about my country and I want to be defensive, but I chose to answer differently. “I don’t know. I don’t know because I cannot speak on behalf of the entire country. India is big, really big. It is vast geographically, and even vaster and diverse culturally, linguistically, religiously and in many more ways. We are a lot of people in our country, more than a billion, which is much more than the population of entire Europe, let alone Germany. Many people, many cultures, many languages! Yes, India is one country but is more diverse than even any continent in the world. So I don’t know. I don’t think I represent the entire country, and I think no Indian can. And hence I cannot answer Yes or No to your question.
But I may be able to represent the city where I come from, Mumbai, where I was born and brought up, but not beyond that. And I could be partially right, if I claim that, yes woman are allowed (I hate this term in the first place, because no one has any authority to ´allow´ anyone else to work or do anything that is legal in an independent, democratic country like India. But anyway) to work in Mumbai and they are safe in Mumbai. (I internally know that my claim may not be 100% correct, because there are some cases which prove otherwise even in Mumbai, but since I said ´partially right´, I am right). But beyond Mumbai I cannot claim so. Apart from Mumbai, I also stayed for a couple of years in cities like Pune and Bangalore, where I worked and was safe, but again, I have not explored them enough to comment on them concretely. It is just like my husband says “My India is different from your India”. There are urban areas in India and also villages. There are lot many parts of India, which I don’t even know the names of, forget about visiting and knowing them enough to represent. The newspapers, TV channels inform me about honour killing (I then explain to the colleagues what honour killing means, I helplessly watch the shock on their faces as I finish my explanation, I am ashamed and wonder if I should have spoken about it), domestic violence, female foeticide and these too take place in some parts of the country. I am born in a family where women and men are considered no different (except gender wise) and I have many friends who also share similar family values. I worked for few years in India before starting to work in Germany and I worked there as fearlessly as I do in Germany. However, my mother used to tell me every day when I was in India “be careful when you go out” and she still continues saying the same every day, when I talk to her.” The colleagues nod with a laughter and conclude “yes, mothers are same everywhere”. I am glad that the conclusion was drawn on Mother and not on Mother India, because I myself did not know how to conclude and I definitely did not want them to. I am happy that the lunch is over. I have a few beads of sweat on my forehead, which the German food is unlikely to generate, they certainly are the by-products of the over-thinking of the processor on the shoulder during the lunch time.

I resume my desk and start working, but the questions hover around. They don’t just hover, but also bring along sub-questions to nag me. Not that I didn’t have these questions myself, but when someone from another nationality asks you such questions, you are more troubled. I don’t know what and how I can help to improve the situation back home, all I do is to write down my thoughts while praying silently that our PM delivers his promises with equal potency with which he does his speeches. Because the day dreams shown virtually are translated literally, I will be able to answer these questions, strongly and positively, or even better, such questions may not even arise!