Thank you, too.
What you say I find is normal. In times of difficulties and challenges, you do what is needed. It's actually something valuable that you put yourself on duty and not let yourself be overwhelmed by your responsibilities. Most people who are more or less stable go through their difficult times and function. The aftermath comes later and to work with what had bothered me and where I feel disappointment towards others.

From what I know about myself is that my feelings of disappointment are connected to guilt on my part. When people dropped me during my hardest times I was deeply hurt. ... Thoughts came that I myself was probably not there for them, either through my own ignorance or because my circumstances were tough at the same time. Also, in some cases I felt trust and was kind of light minded about their potential to help themselves. Sometimes people are mad about me even though I haven't known the real issues because they did not tell me and did not ask actively for help.

I learned that in case I need support that I actively must ask for help and that a "no" from the person must be accepted by me. It's tricky when to call an event "done" or "overcome". To accept that there are people who are simply not the right ones in helping me even though they are my friends or family sometimes overshadows those helpers who did support me. Certain challenges need certain characters. Most people are not made for all cases ... that is what I learned from my worst crisis in life.

I got rid of my guilt (for the main part, still working on some issues) and give to those who were not able to give something to me. I do that because I want to open up a new chance of coming close again.

I lost one friend in this and never got in touch again with her. This is not so dramatic after all.

All in all your story is a good example that in all circumstances we lose something and we win something. What do you think?

Please, call me Erika :)

P.S. I don't know if our education system is better. ... I guess, not. OECD standards all over the world seem to be pretty much the same to me... But I do not know enough about other countries.