The diary of a Bosnian in Florida

Yesterday you had the chance to read how did our Bosnian friend cope with Canada and its weather, and today, I'm gonna reveal to you his diary from Florida (where he moved from Canada).

So, here it goes:

May 12th: We arrived in Florida and moved in our new home. The house is huge! It has so much comfort, and of course, a swimming pool in the backyard. It's so nice and warm here. I've already forgotten Canada. I like Florida!

May 20th: The people here are unbelievably nice and they smile all the time. Florida is really interesting and lots of interesting animals live here. It's really nice and warm here. This week I really warmed up from Canada. I love Florida a lot!

June 12th: We've been here for a month. The weather is always very nice, but also very humid. Good thing we have air conditioning in the house. My neighbour told me there's a restaurant nearby that serves good alligator dishes. I can't believe that people eat such ancient animals that date even from the era of dinosaurs! I can't understand that. Anyway, we've seen a lot of things in Florida, it's unbelievably interesting. I love you the most, Florida!

June 30th: Since we moved here, the weather hasn't changed at all. It's always warm, but now it's a bit too humid for me. Fortunately, the air-conditioning works great both in the house and in the car. During the night we have problems with mosquitoes, and there are a lot of mosquitoes here this time of the year. I also met more of my neighbours. People in Florida are really very nice.

July 18th: The heat is unbearable and the humidity is almost 100 percent. For the weekend we're going to the coast. I hope I'll have a good time there.

July 20th: What a night! My wife accidentally left the window in the hotel room open during the night. The mosquitoes almost ate me alive. When we returned home, we realized that our car got stolen, so now I'll have to ride 100 miles in a taxi every day to get to work. My taxi driver (who happens to be black) is just grinning all the time. I've got the feeling that he stole our car. I have to say, there really is a lot of criminal in Florida.

July 22nd: It seems that now I'm working just to pay off the taxi drivers! At work, my boss told me that I don't smile enough. I tried to explain to him that I hadn't slept all night because of the mosquitoes and that my car just got stolen, but the idiot just didn't seem to care. The heat outside is really unbearable.

July 30th: The heat wave reached its climax and our air-conditioning broke down. And not to mention the mosquitoes... The only salvation for me is taking a swim in the pool early in the morning. But today, when I headed to the pool to take a swim, I saw a three-meters long alligator in the pool! That's just what I need now, one more bullshit! I called the police to ask them what to do, but they told me to ignore him and that he will go out of the pool and my yard by himself. I'm getting mad here...

July 31st: It's like hell here, even in the early morning! At work I feel and look beat up. That asshole that happens to be my boss told me again that I don't smile enough and that it's bad for the clients. Fuck him and fuck the clients!

August 1st: The heat is unbearable! It's the second day without the air-conditioning, which means it's the second day without sleeping. It feels like the whole place is going to burn to ashes! There are more and more mosquitoes. That three-meters long leviathan seems to be camping inside my swimming pool. I complained about the alligator to my neighbour, but he was just smiling (as always). Cunt!

August 2nd: Finally, the guy came to repair my air conditioning! But that fucking nigger, instead of taking care of my air conditioning, took care of my daughter! The police told me that in the future, I have to more be careful and that they won't be able to catch the black guy because they all look the same. And outside, it's hotter than hell! Fuck Florida!

August 12th: I can't stand this heat anymore! It's like hell all summer long, and since we moved here, the weather is the same! My boss fired me with a smile on his face and told me that he fired me due to the clients' complaints about me not smiling enough. So now I'm unemployed. When I was going home, I stopped at the bar to get drunk. Everybody smiled to me and to my story, especially the policeman who fined me for drunk driving afterwards. He wants to fine me for 3000 dollars. God damn it! I fucking hate Florida!

August 13th: What a surprise, it's like hell outside. Again. I got home from jail today. I have no car, no job and no money. I hate taxi drivers! Today everybody is running somewhere and keep telling me some guy named Mitch is coming. When I got home, I laid down to think about everything for a moment. By the way, the air conditioning still doesn't work. Suddenly, a very strong wind appeared and in the next moment, my house doesn't have a roof anymore. The moment after, the whole house was gone. I have nothing left, except the alligator that's still in my pool, by the way. The neighbours returned to the neighbourhood and, with a smile on their face, told me that I'm lucky to have survived the hurricane Mitch. So now, I have nothing left...

August 14th: Fuck it! I'm moving out of damn Florida! I hate it here! I'm getting back to Bosnia!

The End

So, as you can see, our Bosnian friend didn't like it in Florida either. Maybe he will get more lucky at his home country. For his sake, I hope. I hope you enjoyed the story. I'll be back.

Pero