I have also slaughtered - my grandad used to say: "If you eat meat, you have to be aware of where it comes from. And how it ends up on your plate." He was right. And I still eat meat. I don't want to kill any more, but I have the necessary respect for animals and choose carefully when I buy from which source.

You have changed and developed over the last few months. Embrace it, it makes you a better man.