When we say something we don't want very determinedly, it draws attention and the eyes are on us. You are so right about this. You already said the solution is to act relaxed as a part of the moment.
Those who do not like to talk in front of strangers can be good observers. This is why they are more likely to be successful in writing. Writing can also be your magic power. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings heartfeltly :)