The Soul Doesn’t Need a Map.
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” - Jimmy Dean
Good Morning! A pretty cold and grey one at that. As I half-expected, I lay awake at 4am this morning, contemplating life… my life, and all the little bits in between. Though there are many days when those early morning hours catch up with me later, I actually really enjoy that time. It feels a bit like a weekend, because I get to stay in bed completely guilt-free (I mean, who gets up at that hour? Oh wait… ME! Yesterday, lol). But no, seriously… that’s what it feels like.
This morning, despite going to bed fairly early, I’m feeling a little bit tethered, haha! So the coffee is going down very smoothly this morning... and rather quickly too - like oil into a machine which desperately needed it! I think I’ll be heading to the kettle for round two shortly.
Speaking of contemplation and the strange ideas that drift through in those early hours… I know I have mentioned this before, but that inner itch to balance the time I spend on screens with something more hands on just won’t go away. (Not that I want it to.) If anything, the internal nudging is getting louder and more persistent as time goes on.
“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” - Joseph Campbell
I do spend a lot of time in front of a screen: writing, reading, doing admin for my sourdough starter business, running social media for all the little ventures I’m trying to juggle... and then, of course, there’s creating the digital art I sell, which I do on a tablet screen. It’s a decent amount of screen time every day. And don’t get me wrong - I love tech. I always have. But that yearning to balance it out… or maybe to feed some other aspect of myself, is definitely tapping me on the shoulder more and more these days.
Yes, I bake sourdough bread almost daily, and that is a form of therapy in itself. But I want more time in the garden. I want to make things, build things, create things with my hands. So, naturally, in those still early hours, I get all sorts of weird and wonderful ideas flying through my mind... making mobiles from dried garden cuttings, brewing teas from herbs I grow, growing and selling plants to the locals, oh man, the list is endless!!
And I feel like I need to start listening to those nudges more closely. Giving them more of my primary attention. It’s like my soul is crying out for it on some deeper level. I trust that it will all unfold naturally, but I do sometimes wish I could just pick a direction to move in, you know? Lol. I feel like I’m “doing this,” then “doing that,” then suddenly “doing the other.”
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” - W.B. Yeats
Although… maybe that’s the point. It’s through experimentation and exploration that we find our truest direction. So maybe I just need to trust the process a little more and release this need to control where it’s heading.
That whole “letting go” bit? Definitely not my strong suit, I’ll admit it. I like clarity. I like direction. But if I’m ever going to find the path that truly fulfills my soul (which feels like the whole point, really), then I suppose I need to lean into the discomfort a little more. Maybe it’s time to adopt my own version of Mel Robbins’ “let them” theory... only in this case, maybe it’s about letting myself.
I suppose there is something quite special… or sacred if you will, about recognising the murmurs of your soul before they become louder roars. That “tugging” towards a more grounded, hands on life, which is rooted in simplicity, slowness, and creation. I guess it doesn’t have to make perfect sense right now… it just needs a little space and intention to become something more. I suppose the soul doesn’t really need a map does it…lol - it just needs us to have the courage to follow the internal compass that keeps pointing us toward “home”.
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” - Mahatma Gandhi
❤❤❤
Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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