Pivot - but this time it's for me!

So, you sold a print of your art - big whoop! Grab a beverage… this is going to be a long one! Yeah, so big deal I made a sale - well, actually it is… a very big deal to me, because this is the first “physical” piece of art I have ever sold… despite the fact that I have been creating art in one form or another for most of my life. It may have begun as a desperate attempt to get myself out of the schooling system, but graphic design became my greatest passion. Turns out, I was pretty damn good at it and ended up making a self employed career out of it for 20+ years… and we didn’t have Canva back then, lol!

I realise that many of you know me better as “Bumpkin” and for my regular pics of sourdough bread and starter (and those aren’t going anywhere, don’t worry) but I am more… than that facet of “me” - and art isn’t just in my blood, it is in my heart and my soul. Always has been… and for the longest time, I have wanted to bring it to the forefront of my life.

As it so often happens with “life”, it was an “unwanted” reality I recently “created” for myself - because sometimes, the soul cries so loud to be heard that it becomes impossible to ignore for even a second longer, and suddenly I was faced with a completely new road which forced me to pivot - and that is actually what brought back to life, something which I have been dying to resurrect for as far back as I can remember… but I was placing my decision making on external cheerleaders that were never really there. Incredible how it changes when you are forced to become your own cheerleader again.

The last few months have been nothing short of emotionally overwhelming and I have lost count of the moments in which I honestly just wanted to give up completely and surrender to whatever tidal wave would come my way through my lack of action in any way… hopelessness is the most awfully destructive emotion.

Though, despite the days, weeks and months of melancholy, anxiety and general emotional lack of clarity, I am repeatedly discovering in my life that I just don’t have much “give up” in my veins and I don’t seem to have a white flag packed away anywhere to be found… for that, I am eternally grateful!

Perhaps it is because I was not raised with idle hands, or maybe it is because my father inspired the entrepreneur in every single one of his four children, or perhaps it is because passion above all else has always been my steering wheel, regardless of where it led me. Likely a combination of all that and more - and in truth, it doesn’t matter really… what does matter is that I have never allowed anybody to blow out my candle. Not permanently anyway - Sometimes, I just allowed them to borrow my light for a while - but every lease term has an expiration date and I am all out of leases for the foreseeable future.

As I begin the process of listing my portfolio of digital works, I am acutely reminded of the details in the journey which led to the creation of each and every piece. My work is unusual, I am aware - so am I, haha! I was often asked what my “style” of art is. It took me years to accept that I just don’t have one… I create where inspiration, life emotion and experience overflows and the world of genre boxed individuals is just going to have to accept that about me and everything I create. I am not a one dimensional human being. I have more facets than I have even discovered yet - how (and why) would I put myself in any kind of labelled box?! Nope. Not going to happen!

I am inspired by the moment. I allow the creation of the art itself to lead me to its final destination and that is precisely what enriches me. It is the sole reason I want to continue creating art - and knew that from the very first time I felt that incredible connection to something so beautiful, so much greater than myself that simply allowed me to be completely free to visually express life as it unfolds - not unlike how I feel about the incredible beauty, magnificence and power in the art that is creative writing.

And yes, my art is digitally created. Now, before you all roll your eyes and prep speeches about how “digital art isn’t real art” and all that AI BS - allow me to put the brakes on your clearly ill informed assumptions (in my instance anyway) and give you a handful of perspective.

Whilst I do create traditional art from time to time - my passion is definitely with digital art… perhaps it is because of my career as a graphic designer, or my general impatience as a human being or maybe it is about my unwillingness to clean up after myself, lol - okay I am talking crap now… it is none of that… except possibly the designer part. I just enjoy creating digitally. I don’t really think I need more of an explanation than that.

But as “digital” as it is, it is all 100% me. I still have to hold a pen and draw the lines and curves. I still have to pick the colours and conceptualise the layout and compilation. I still have to move, shift… do and undo. I still spend hours, more often days creating each piece and I still pour my heart and soul into every step along the way… and above being able to actually “draw”, I need to to have an additional knowledge of the software and how to use it as a part of my creative skill set… so I ask you, other than the fact that my canvas is digital… is there any REAL difference?! No, there is not - and I say this as someone who loves to get messy with paint and canvas too. My hope is that more people develop a much lacking respect and appreciation for the digital artists of the world… like myself… and it is through my path forward that I hope to achieve this.

Today I collected the canvas for my first ever physical art print order. I cried most of the way there. This was so much more than just a sale to me. It was a sign, a symbol - and a divine opening for a path which I know with complete absolution, I am meant to be walking. I have never seen any of my own work printed on paper, let alone canvas. Everything I have created has been sold digitally in the past - two pieces in particular which re-sellers collected one million rand for (each) - sadly, I did not see that value, but even their original sale values were something to be hugely proud of.

But even with that level of financial acknowledgement (be it “virtually”) I have to be honest in saying that it did not even begin to compare to how the cup of my soul filled to the brim with golden, shining, gleaming BEAMING joy when I made this sale and knew that someone picked my art to hang on a wall somewhere in a space which is special to them. That moment is one I simply cannot even find the words to describe… and it ABSOLUTELY solidified my craving to fulfill this dream of pushing art creation to the forefront of my life.

I held that canvas in my hands today and I did not just see a print of something I created. I was staring at my heart and everything I have dreamed about for so very long!!! I was mesmerised by how absolutely fncking fabulous my art looks when its printed haha - I am sorry, I know that may seem so conceited, but it really isn’t, I promise… it was just simply the confirmation, the pat on the shoulder, the word of confidence, the hand shake - and yes, the cheerleader I have been waiting for… for so, soooo darn long!

Life can be so symphonic at times. The specific piece the buyer selected from the few which I had listed, the username of the buyer… “Free-Spirit” - everything about this feels right… and that is just amazing! For the record, the sold piece you see me holding in the pic… is called “Espoir” which means HOPE in French… the description quote I chose for it after creation in 2023 was as follows:

Beneath the thoughts and feelings you have worn on your shoulders for so long, there is the real you, who is worthy of freedom from what darkness said you would be, for you are more than what you feel, you are more than what you think, and yes, these things do matter, but they do not mean everything - there is still this open space deep within endless grace to let those old things go and start all over again. - Morgan Harper Nichols

Though my art isn’t new to me, it is to most of you and I am honoured to do so. I hope that through what I have shared here, you will now hold a deeper understanding for my passion and love for this path and that you will join me in the journey! I would LOVE to have you ALL along for the ride… crazy as it may get at times!

I am SO excited to start creating again - but for now, I want to take what I have essentially “hidden” from the world for so long - being my portfolio - and make that available to the art lovers in Saffer land. Yes, my art has been available to an audience over the seas for quite some time now, but I have been searching and searching for a way to make it available and affordable to South Africans - so I am SOOOOO happy to say that I have found local producers in Sandbaai and Stanford to work with. Nothing makes me more excited than locals building locals haha! Okay… I think I have said enough about enough!

I am adding pieces from my portfolio to my shop every single day and as soon as I am done adding what I already have… I will start creating more! Yaga.co.za - is where I am listing my work… one of the most awesome apps by another brilliant south african woman… starting out for pre-loved fashion and has evolved into so much more!

Right! Now… It is time for a glass of red wine and some good music!
Cheers beautiful souls! May you always find your shine, no matter what tries to dull it!