Out or Up.

Here I go, out to sea again, the sunshine fills my hair and dreams hang in the air. Gulls in the sky and in my blue eyes, you know it feels unfair - there’s magic everywhere. Look at me standing here on my own again, up straight in the sunshine, no need to run and hide - it’s a wonderful, wonderful life.

Quoted from the Katie Melua version of “Wonderful Life” - not the original, I know - but no less impactful as I sit here cross legged on the couch with my laptop in front of me, wine to my left and fur child to my right, contemplating the last decade plus of my life “in the blink of an eye” as if it were a flash in the proverbial pan.

Conflict is an easy emotion to become consumed by - us humans are great at overcomplicating even the simplest things… and normally to our own detriment. Life sure does align your purpose in mysterious ways.

Experience has (thankfully) taught me that no matter what another says about you as a human being - to your face or even to those around you, the only thing that matters is that you know who you are, what you stand for and that you stay true to yourself - no matter what.

Admittedly, I have been relatively “slow” on the uptake in this regard… repeatedly placing the importance of another before my own value - resulting in circumstances whereby I essentially feel like an incomplete human without their presence and yet mine (to them) is not even observed, let alone missed.

Better late to the party than never though, right?!

I don’t crave things. I crave substance. And now, substance is what I shall seek - in all ways, shapes and forms. For me.
This time, I am putting myself first - because if I don’t, I may as well give up.

❤❤❤

Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea

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