A Gate, a Garage, and One Grumpy Fur Child! :)
Today was just one of those days which kind of unfolded itself, regardless of my original intentions. Not to say I didn’t get to a lot of what I wanted, but my primary intention when getting up this morning was to get myself stuck into the garage. What was once an incredibly “tight” space, with two vehicles, loads of “household” nonsense (as it goes) and my now ex’s business equipment has suddenly become this massive double garage with more space than I even know what to do with.
Okay, that is not entirely true… I have plans… I do! I will not lie and say I have them all quite mapped out yet, because I don’t. At the moment the so called “plans” are more a “murmur” of inspiration whispering in my ear for things to come - but that sparks inspiration in me regardless, and I wanted to get started by clearing and organising. Seems like a sensible beginning point lol.
So, yes, I got to some of that… not really the clearing, but definitely the “getting rid of”. Admittedly, this is something which has been happening in complete baby steps over the last couple of months because it is a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride every time I have to go in there and “face something”. But - I am proud to say, that with each passing day, I am finding doing this easier and easier. What was making me break down into tears just at the “thought” of doing it… is now absolutely manageable.
The one thing I promised myself when I brought this tornado upon myself, was to just be patient with myself. To take and do things as and when they feel comfortable and doable for me. To forget the rules I usually follow for my mon to fri routine and just allow myself to move with the moments. Internally “insisting” on this has really helped a lot with my peace.
Back to today - So, yes… it unfolded a little differently to initial intention, but it was still a good day. Now that I am completely on my own (well, just my son and I) it had been on my mind to get a security gate for the external section of the front door - in fact this had always been on the list of “to do’s” even with my ex (because he was away a lot) but I guess you could just say that there were more important things to deal with than my safety… like million dollar mattresses, bigger TV’s and holidays around Africa… anyhooooo… moving along swiftly.
My dad was here for dinner last week and he made mention of the fact that he doesn’t like that I always have the front door wide open. This is South Africa after all - even if I am in the middle of nowhere… that doesn’t stop opportunists. Couple with his prompting, my own internal banter and the original intention… I grabbed the measuring tape and looked online for a gate to fit. Despite what I had been “fed” as an impossibility, I found one within minutes and placed the order. It arrived yesterday and today my dad came to fit it for me.
I am confident that my DIY skills will improve over the coming months, but for now - I was realistic enough to acknowledge that the installation of this gate was likely a little out of my comfort or confidence zone haha!
It took a little longer than I think my dad anticipated - but honestly, there were so many things which could have been done more practically in terms of creating a “ready to install DIY gate” and even I could see that… so kudos to him for keeping his patience and just for doing it for me in the first place, lol.
I will say - the fur child does NOT approve!!! Not even a little bit! Haha!!! Now, when he has to respond to “call of duty” he either has to wait for me to come open the gate and get completely petrified by the sound of the gate opening haha… or he has to run the long way around from the back to the front - therefore missing out on 50% of the action hehe! Ooooooh well! If I could teach him to get down on all fours and “make the gap” at the bottom of the gate, then it would be all good… but THAT AINT GONNA HAPPEN haha… so ya! Here we are!
Not that I would ever dare to give my 77yr old father advice on how to use power tools or any of the practical details which generally accompany such projects, but I couldn’t help but notice that I was acutely aware of little “internal comparisons” between how my now ex would do things versus how my dad was doing them. As an example - determining the depth of the drill hole, to fit the wall plug perfectly. I noticed that my dad just kinda “did it” - which prompted the memory of my ex using a short piece of tape… be it masking tape or insulation tape just wrapped around the point at which the drill bit needed to stop.
Silly things, these nostalgic details which fill our minds. Nonetheless, they are there and they come and go. I am trying not to hold on to any of them tightly anymore, but to rather just let them flow through as I move on to the next thing.
So now, I have a new gate. Not something I am super excited about if I am honest haha - because I far preferred just being able to “waft” in and out of my house… but I am also realistic and it does give me a sense of “peace” in the later Summer evenings when it is still so warm that you want the door open, but cannot actually see anything outside any longer.
Though, speaking of Summer - that has definitely waved goodbye. There has been a definite shift in the weather over this last week… and the evenings absolutely have that “cooler chill” in the air. Me… Oh, I do not mind… not even one little bit! Yes, I love many aspects of Summer, but as I have gotten older, I find that I have developed a really kindred relationship with Winter - the rainy days and the fireplace going… so I am quietly looking forward to it!
I suppose, much like the weather… I am moving through my own seasons. Some moments are more fluid than others - but all in all, I am embracing the change and learning to trust that I am meandering forward just exactly as I should be… just now, with added security haha!
❤❤❤
Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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So... Your dog will easily fit through the barn door. He'll get on it ;-))
Unlikely!!! :D He wont even walk over the vacuum cleaner power cable hahahaha!!! We have named it "the black snake of death" lol because that is how petrified he is. So I definitely dont see him attempting to hunch down hehe <3 bless his little soul.