Tiny Minds, Big Hearts

Kids' brains are fascinating little mysteries. I have always been curious about what goes on in their tiny minds. In fact, I had just been staring at the pictures of my nephew, thinking about what caused that crooked, toothless smile and what made him gape at his dad with a soft frown on his forehead. He is only one month old and I know babies' brains are under development in early years but still, he has thoughts, right?

When I became a mom, post-birth physical limitations, exhaustion and lack of sleep didn't let me enjoy these moments as much as I did with my nephew, who was born just last month, making me an aunt (پھوپھو) for the first time. I'm surprised how much I miss him and love him like my own kids. This relationship is new for me — I'm still processing it and getting used to the fact that even though I love him so much, he has to stay with his parents and visit his desperate aunt occasionally.

The last two months were crazy. First, it was Ramadan which went quite smoothly, Alhamdulillah. Only my nephew decided to make his debut into the world in the middle of that month, making us all run, but it was just a day or two of hospital visits, and we got back to routine — not the new parents, of course.

And then I got sick a day before Eid and spent the whole Eid day in bed. I felt bad for my kids who were looking forward to the day but ended up accompanying me to the hospital. However, the next day, when I felt better, we had a houseful; all the family was there, and finally, Eid felt like Eid.

^{I don't wear different shoes in real life}

But what stuck with me was a note that my son gave me on Eid day which brings me back to the thought process of kids. He wrote me a get well soon note in the car on the way back from the hospital which I think was very thoughtful. He took his diary and pen along to take notes on God knows what.

What made me laugh was Toyota CH-R written underneath. He once asked me about my favourite car and I said a Red Ferrari and then he asked me to tell him the one suitable for driving in Pakistan or that I would like to actually buy if I had 10 million rupees (my kids like talking in millions and billions for some reason)— a more practical choice he meant; car prices have skyrocketed in my country so 10 millions are nothing if you want a nice SUV. Anyhoo, I replied, a CH-R in graphite or silver.

It might seem a trivial thing to some but I was touched by this gesture. He tried to make me smile by remembering my favourite car and mentioning it on the note. His love language is making me cards, writing notes and drawing pictures of things that I like. The younger one, on the other hand, always offers to help with chores when I'm tired, although he gets tired faster than me (in a minute, actually) and excuses himself. He even asks me if I need money as his piggy bank is full of Eidi cash. I can give you 2000 rupees, mama. You can buy makeup.

Kids might not be able to solve our problems, but they do sense our pain or distress and try to soothe us in their own childish ways, which is sometimes all we need.

Looking at the pictures of my nephew and at the cards my kids made for me on different occasions — It is just one of those days when I'm appreciating their presence in my life a little more openly.