To Build A Stronger Friendship, Avoid These Things
I once met someone who told me that she did not have difficulty making friends on the spot, but she does not know why, after a few weeks at most, they will be gone. Well, we exchanged contacts and became acquaintance. But after a while of coming around and observing her, I understood where she was not getting it right, and I had to talk with her over a few things and I hoped she changed. Some people do not know that there are some things that they may be doing, maybe intentionally or not, that may be affecting their friendship negatively. Here, we shall take a look at the things to avoid for you to build a good friendship. Remember that a bulk of it rests on your shoulders.
The first one is that you should not make yourself the focal point in the friendship. That is, it should not only be about you, it should not center around you. Some people think that there are actually doing their friends a favour by being friends with them. Well, you need them as much as they also need you. You should also make conscious efforts to keep the friendship going by bringing something into the friendship, not just taking things away. I once saw a post on X (Twitter) where one lady said that her boyfriend should be giving her monthly allowance for agreeing to date him. Then one guy replied her and asked what she is bringing to the relationship, and she could not even reply. Friendship is not about taking and taking, let the other person also feel your impact.
The next thing to avoid is neglect. That is, failing to check up on your friends, not showing genuine interest in what concerns them, or not even spending time with them. Imagine someone who calls themself your friend, yet they will not even check up on you to know how you are faring, and maybe you will be the only one checking up on them, but as soon as they need help, they will remember that you are existing. This attitude can weaken the friendship and may even make one to lose interest. In order for friendship to be stronger, you must put in efforts and then give it attention. Do not just remember your friends only when you need their help. Try to be checking up on them, call them, pay them a visit, be there for them. So when you also need them, they will not fail to be there for you.
Another thing to avoid is comparison and jealousy. When you start to compare yourself with your friends or when you start to be jealous of their successes, it will breed resentment. You have to understand that, even though you are friends, you still have different destinies and different purpose to fulfill in life. What they have achieved or what they possess should not bring comparison. More so, that they are doing well does not stop you from also achieving your own success. Their own success should not set the standards for you, nor create the feeling that you are not doing well. Just to let you know, true friends should support each other to achieve greatness, and also celebrate each other, not competing against each other.
A very important thing to also avoid in a relationship is dishonesty. This does not only refer to lies, but it also includes half truth, and withholding of important information. Nothing breaks trust like dishonesty. You have to try to show honesty at all times even when you feel uncomfortable or when it looks difficult to do so. If you tell lies and your friends get to find out, they may lose trust in not just you but in your words. They may not even believe you in the future again even when what you are saying is the truth. This is why you have to make honesty your lifestyle.
The last thing on the list that should be avoided if you will consolidate on your friendship is gossiping. If they are truly your friend, then there is no point talking behind their back. Even if they have done something that you do not like, you can simply approach them and talk it over with them. Learn to protect the reputation of your friends even behind their backs. This will build the relationship better and stronger.
Thanks for reading
