Being Direct Without Sounding Rude
When communicating, a lot of skill is required for someone to find a balance between being clear and being polite. That is, being direct in your communication without being rude. When you master the art of clarity and directness in communication, it will bring about understanding and will remove the eventuality of misunderstanding. But if it is not mastered, it can easily lead to rudeness and misunderstanding. This why you need to find a balance between being clear and being as polite as possible. Here, we shall take a look at the potent ways by which you can achieve clarity and politeness.
One of the ways to achieve clarity (directness) without being rude is to employ empathy. That you want to be direct does not mean you should not acknowledge people's feelings and emotions. Before you talk or communicate with people, you have to think about the potential impact and effects that the words will have. Employing empathy makes even a direct communication to be soft enough to be imbibed without having reservations. When you understand people's feelings and apply it to your communication, they will know that your intentions towards them are not hostile. You can even start your statement with "I understand how you feel." This might help the person to know that you also feel what they do."
You also need to be specific and remove ambiguity as much as possible. Making your statements ambiguous might make them a bit confusing, so be specific. In addition, your language has to be understandable and void of vagueness. Focus on the context of the message that you want to pass on and do not complicate your words by trying to "beat around the bush." For example; instead of telling someone "you can do better," it will sound more specific to say the area that they need to do better, like "try to work on your paragraphing, and maintain consistent formatting while typing." This will help the person to understand where to improve on.
Another point to take note of is that you need to apply the right tone. What a lot of people do not understand is that it is not necessarily what you say that creates the most impact in the recipient but the tone with which you say it. There are some very harmless words that can be said with a very rude tone and they will end up being offensive. Talking with an even and a calm tone will make you appear professional and respectful, while at the same time, passing the information in a direct way. Try not to rush words even if you have many things to say, try to take them calmly with an even tone.
You also need to know when to talk, when to keep calm and listen, and then make use of timing appropriately. There are times that someone can be more receptive; you have to take advantage of the times. If you want to say very critical things, like giving a feedback, it is better to avoid doing so when the person is already passing through intense stress, because they may not process the information well. If you are unsure of the reaction of what you want to say will be, then you need to be cautious with the words. It is better to listen more than to speak and create more harm with your words. Remember that you cannot go wrong with listening, so practise active listening.
The last point is to remain respectful at all times. It does not matter if the person you are talking to is your junior or your subordinate, but you should maintain respect. Even when you are right and you want to prove a point, you should do it in a respectful way, not the way that will make you to appear wrong even when you are wrong. Apply respect to your communication means addressing relevant issues instead of attacking the person you are in communication with. In an official setting for example, you should be professional in your communication. That is, stick to the fact of what you are saying, instead of making unnecessary personal remarks. Always have in mind that the purpose of directness in communication is to pass message directly, clearly and factual without sounding rude.
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