But

Look, said Mom, I have a present for you. Unwrap it quickly.
She stood there excitedly watching me walk around the package.

What is it, I asked somewhat suspiciously. It didn't look like the dog I had been asking for for years but never got. With a knot in my stomach, I thought of the puppy that once stood in a drawer next to my bed. After it was murdered, there had never been a pet again, no matter how much I had prayed and begged.

Come on, don't be shy.

Mom pushed me close to the package. I hesitated. Did it make a sound? Was it a clock? Did I hear something ticking inside?
It's not a bomb, I said suspiciously and she burst out laughing. She was clearly enjoying something I didn't see.

I don't like surprises, I muttered.

What if a giant Jack jumps out of that box, a horrible monster that screams and chases me and I can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try?

Margit, come on, you'll definitely love it.

I slowly untied the bow and picked at the tape used to seal the box.
Mom walked away and was back a moment later with the potato peeler. In one quick movement, she cut through the tape.

There he was, my new friend, as Mom called him. She beamed with pride because, after all those years of saving, she had found a life companion for me, one who wouldn't run away and who I could ask anything. No taboos, no lies, he would tell the naked truth and she whispered in my ear that my new mate would be useful for the household and knew everything so that I could finally get rid of the 18-part encyclopedia.

But... was all I could say between Mom's flood of words.

The white-silver thing opened its eyes and looked at me. But is my name, what can I do for you?

But and I have been together for many years. Is he the helpful companion I wished for? It is hard to say because I have known him for so long that I no longer remember what it was like before he first opened his eyes and looked at me.
Without But it would certainly have been a lot quieter and after all these years I still haven't gotten used to his chatter. Sometimes I think of my mother who died not long after I installed But. I didn't know that she was ill and sick and But? But didn't know either and that makes him unsuitable as an all-knowing AI.
While But is doing his best to learn something and is using my table to study I think back to my mother with nostalgia. Would she laugh now if she saw what a pitiful figure I have become? Someone without a goal in mind, without a future... but now I digress...

But is the best friend I have ever had, indeed the only one but that makes no difference. He is not the brightest of the robots but at least he is not a know-it-all either. Just like mom, he sometimes makes me laugh even though he does not know what a joke is.

Thank you Mom for But, it was a sweet gesture but I would have preferred a dog. That would have been a lot warmer during this harsh winter.

When I close my eyes in the child's bed that I never replaced, But is standing guard.

Sleep tight, he says before he turns off the light in his eyes and stands with his back against the door.

Good night But, I mumble, let's go look for a dog tomorrow so that you are not left alone.

I feel tired and want to sleep but promise myself that when I wake up I will look for a companion for But.

_16.1.25