@wakeupkitty
A few years ago, I saw a very motivating video. It talked about how we carry a very spoiled child called thoughts; we're always thinking. But those thoughts need to be corrected. We need to set limits. We need a personal trainer (ourselves). We experience (mentally) many episodes that never come to pass. Why go through all this? It never even happened. The pain is stored away for when it happens (in real life).
We never stop imagining. I understand that when you've been through a lot, it's complicated. But we can put the brakes on our thoughts. We can see the positive side of every catastrophe. Everything negative, in my opinion, leaves something positive behind. Experience. The possibility of improvement, which makes you stronger. You are very strong.

You have my consideration, respect, and appreciation, even in the darkest night. You will always find my words across the sea. From infinity.