I never felt neglected my parents worked/studied only miserable tobe with them and their violence.

Is it possible to do it differently? It is if yiu set priorities and are satisfied with less. It is what I did as a single working mom. I calculated how many hours I needed to pay the basic bills and food. It was a huge (financial) step back.
If my children appreciated it? Iam not sure. One day they might say I am the worse mother ever, poor. If not poor the workaholic not caring enough or always tired.

You truly believe a mother enjoys syaying home with children, no one to talk to, only children talk, children TV, poop, pee, vomit. Day and night available? No room for yourself, togrow, think?

https://steemit.com/hive-161155/@wakeupkitty.pal/short-film-this-is-what-being-a-mom-really-feels-like