Hi @flema welcome to the freewriters and giving pic1000 a try.
I miss your description of what you see and what you feel if you observe the photo.

Your text sounds as if it's generated by AI. It misses the persomal view and feeling. I find it hard to nelieve you would tell a story to your friends in the same way.

Please, note that the freewriters are meant for those who love to write and want to practise and fight a writer's block. .