Dear,
You write very beautifully, you know how to handle plot and narrate. Which is hard to achieve. You use some very poetic imagery (at times).
Two points to try. This is just my modest opinion.
First.
The sentence.
My dear readers,
It takes me out of the plot, you already have my attention. This is a break that removes narrative time. It adds nothing to me. It baffles me and, although great writers have used it. In this century, personally, it is dissonant.
Second.
Be careful what poetic phrases you use. Narrative doesn't lend itself so much to poetics. Narrative is the crumbs you leave along the way for the reader. Find, recreate or imagine what you want to tell. Everything else tends to mislead.
I repeat, you write very well. We don't necessarily have the same style. But as a reader, I have a criteria to share.
Keep writing you always learn.
Thank you for your comment and well, I will take it into account. That's what we're here for and, as you said, everyone has their own way of creating their literature.