Changing the Introvert in Me
Changing an introvert prompts a similar question. Can you change an extrovert?
And it's quite complicated.
An introverted person most likely spends most of their time alone. You might wonder what they want to do that they're so quick to return to their solitude. Introverts are thoughtful people who love to spend more time in non-social situations.
Introversion has a genetic component, but it isn't entirely determined by genetics. Research suggests that about 40-50% of personality traits, including introversion and extroversion, are inherited. The rest comes from environmental factors, such as upbringing, life experiences, and social influences.
You might think that introverts are just detached from their environments, which is absolutely wrong. It's not easy for introverts to have long conversations because it drains them. It's mentally and physically exhausting. They would need to recharge their energy levels before engaging in any other stressful situations.
So does that mean introverts don't have a social life?----Of course not!
The fact that introverts spend most of their time alone doesn't make them antisocial. Introverts prefer to have a few friends, whom they can trust and have similar interests with. They have a small group of friends who have similar characteristics with them. In fact, introverts can be very talkative when you make them talk about something they're passionate about. And it's very hard to stop them.
It's quite interesting to note that people are not born on the extremes of introversion and extroversion. This means that someone can't be a complete introvert and someone can't be a total extrovert. Those are extremes. An introvert may want to spend time with other people and not just lock himself for years without speaking to anybody. There are many introverts that have very good communication skills and work in situations where it's needed. Likewise, an extrovert can get stressed from social situations and require a break. They may want to take the time to focus on doing other things, especially their mental health.
Some examples of introverts are Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Mark Zuckerberg, Keanu Reeves, J.K. Rowling and myself.
However, most introverts struggle with the topic of communication.
Photo by RDNE Stock project: RDNE Stock Project
Introverts may be seen as distant and unfriendly individuals who don't care about other people. This is a misunderstanding due to the isolation introverts seek out every time. No matter how they try to avoid social situations, they can't.
They are usually unable to fully express their feelings and appear detached and disconnected. It's a struggle to voice their opinions when in groups. They are usually stressed when they're made to stay in social situations especially when extroverts dominate the conversation. Fortunately for them, they can improve their communication skills. They just need time. And a support system.
As an introvert myself, I know how communication can be difficult. But that doesn't mean we can't improve. Humans are social beings and one time or the other, there's a need for communication.
The first thing you want to do in helping an introvert with communication problems is by encouraging active listening. Introverts have the ability to listen to others carefully and respond thoughtfully. This is a very powerful communication skill that is difficult to find.
Challenging them to strike up conversations and get social interaction is another way of helping them. They can set small goals such as striking small conversations with colleagues and neighbours which can help improve their confidence greatly. It shouldn't be a heavy and difficult task which can stress them.
Building body language helps introverts not to come across as uninteresting and detached. With better body language, they can appear more approachable even if they don't talk much.
Joining groups with similar interests puts less pressure on the individual. Introverts can be very passionate people and they are able to relate well with people who have similar interests. What better way would there be than to join communities where they can engage seamlessly without much problems.
Also, they can improve their public speaking skills by taking a public speaking class. These classes are usually supportive and can help greatly in their journey of communication.
For the introvert who wants to improve their communication skills, know for a fact that you don't have any mental problem. You are absolutely fine and you just need to understand that it's a process. It won't happen in weeks or years. There's beauty in the process. Find it.
Good luck on your communication journey.