When friends betray me

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"In my life I find it difficult to trust" . The statement has been use by millions people in the world, Why? Because of betrayal. Someone betrayed the trust they have in them. It might take time for someone who is betrayed to heal. What's the way forward and how do we cope when we find ourselves been betrayed. Though it can be hard to get rid of betrayal what am going to discuss in this post will help everyone in this condition on how to manage their emotions and live over it.

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Betrayal can be in terms of trust. Infact I should focus mainly on it. When I have trust on someone that he would not disappoint me, he would be against me, he would not do anything that could hurt me physically and mentally but at the end day, the person turn back on me, it's like stabbing me at the back, that's how i understand betrayal.

The popular example of how to explain betrayal is the story of Judas Isariot and Jesus. Judas was a close disciple of Jesus and an account to be specific. He followed Jesus to preach even in a far distance. But the end, he was the one that betrayed Jesus. He was among the people that planned to kill Jesus and at the end his mission was successful. Betrayal can be from different people, friends, family or relatives. In Nigeria we say it as: omo, you don fall my hand (pidgin)or antó edem kisong(ibibio)

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I want to share the recent event that makes me loss trust or should I say how I was betrayed.i have this potential customer who always show up frequently to buy drinks for us. In most cases even when I have not open she would wait and back later. She has been out loyal customers for 1 years and I was happy as I trusted her. Sometimes when there's delays in confirming the transaction, my boss will ask her to go because he believes since she has been purchasing buying from us for a long time we should give her benefits of doubt.

That was not the issue as she will always called asking if the transactions has been confirmed. That makes me have a confidence in her. The last time she bought drinks from us, there was a delayed in transaction so i called my boss on what i should do. Immediately I told her she's the woman, she said I should let her go. So I collected the evidence of the transaction and I allow her to go. The next day, she called us and she told us it has been reversed. Soi resend the account number to her. After that day she has not been picking our calls again. She blocked our calls. I manage to chat her on Whatsapp but when she realized it me, she blocked it too.

Until today, I have not seen anyone like that. That's how we loss all the things she bought that day. A loyal customer isn't it? But see how it ended.

The second one i still want to share is also about another customer who always buy the cway refill. For instance if you want to buy the water you'll have to come with your empty bottle, so we'll exchange the bottle and give you the one with water.

One of our regular came to buy the cway refill but he forgot to bring his empty bottle. So he promise to bring it as soon as he gets home. I gave him the water with the trust that his bring the empty bottle but he didn't till today. that's how we lose 3 empty bottle of cway refill water.

It hurt when you trust people but they take you for granted. As such I find it difficult to trust other customer. Imagine just recently a guy came to buy the same cway refill but he didn't come with the empty, he swear to return the empty as he live close by (according to him)I wasn't listening as I was still insisting that he should bring the bottles first. His reaction was: so you can't trust me? I look at him and laugh. I told him: if you know what I have been going through here you wouldn't be asking me about trust. At last he had to drop his Android phone as collateral.

Most time when someone did a transfer and it takes times to drop they will be like: it will enter, let me give you my number, I have been buying something from you a while now, don't trust me? Hmmm, I should I keep repeating the same thing? It's hard to trust, business is business, confirmation before releasing the goods.

In general you can see that it makes me difficult to trust other customers even the genuine ones. Like that one that drop his Android phone with me later said: I KNOW ONE DAY YOU'LL TRUST ME.

In terms of business, it's not easy losing your goods to people any how. And when someone betrayed the trust it would be hard even the trust those one that have good intentions. From my point of view in betrayal though we might give out the good with the benefit of doubt, but I made sure I have collected all the necessary information needed such as their house address.

I always like to tell other customers the reason why I refuse to let them go and most time they do understand as some of them has gone through the same betrayal. For me the best way to heal is by trusting only few customers. My interactions with them now has been improved as I can now be able to reach them if they decide to..........(would I say run away)

But for other kinds of betrayal between friends, family or relatives, the best way to heal is to let it off your mind and forgive them. The word forgive can be so complicated as it can not be forgotten in human mind, but if I say "let it go" that means am ready to leave over it.

Don't generalized people bases of your past experiences. They are still good people out there, some maybe that friend you need in life but if you allowed the past to leave in you, you might lose much opportunity. Be selective when making friends. It this few points, someone who had been betrayed would be able to healed.

Several times? Am I a robot? No..no..no, imagine I was able to heal the first time, you did it again the second time......hold on, they sent you for me?😁 When I said I will forgive, on my honest mind I will try as much as possible to let go(though forgiveness is difficult but to let go sound more easier). That doesn't mean I will then rely deeply the way I did before. I don't want to experience the first trauma so I will be careful with dealing that kind of people.

If it's a family (I can't lie or say what I wouldn't do) I will draw a boundary when it comes to my personal life. No offense. Breaking someone heart for several time.....oh men that's wickedness. Even as if today if I don't feel good about sharing something ( something personal which I feel may hurt me if someone betrayed the trust) I will definitely keep it to myself.

To betray someone means you back-stab the person and no one will like that to repeat itself. I see the reason why majority of people prefer to live a lonely life, they called it self love. They don't depends on friends because they last time they do, it really hurt them. So the moral lesson today for me and everyone reading this post: if someone trusted something into our hand( might be secret or personal lifestyle) we should honor the person honesty for trusting us. Don't betray and you'll be be betrayed.

Cc:
@ruthjoe