My Spec in a Man

When I first heard the word "spec" from a young man at my cousin's school par, I was intrigued. A young slim girl with a smooth ebony skin came up to dance her tribal dance, the young man whispered, "that's my spec and I'll come back for her". The word stuck on my mind and I realized that it simply meant that he finds the girl attractive, amongst other girls.
Let's go to it's meaning.

In my own perspective, your spec is someone that have an impressive appearance and have a unique meaning of your attractiveness.

For me, it's a word that has become increasingly familiar, especially among the youth.I have my spec, and I think everyone has it too. My spec in a man must possess a unique blend of physical, intellectual, financial, spiritual and emotional qualities. Physical attraction gets my attention first. A tall, dark, athlete built, with an undeniable confidence and calmness making him an exceptional person.

I love jokes a lot, so, when a guy have a sense of humor, I tend to relax more. Intellectually, He must be intelligent, because I like it when my guy isn't lost in any topic I bring, besides, I crave for intelligent conversations, but he must be insightful and always ready to learn and grow.

Emotionally, My spec is someone I have deep emotional connection flowing obstruction. We can lean on each other, sharing joy and pains together without fears. Financially, He should have what it takes to have a secured future and a means to support himself and his potential family. But should people wait they find their spec before committing to someone?

Here is my opinion, I believe that people should wait until they find their spec because you can't be with someone whom you feel weird to show to the world or with whom there's no connection between you two. Imagine been with someone with a bad sense of dressing when you're known for a good fashion, you can't get along with him... it's a great struggle, isn't it?

I know of a lady who never posted her husband since they got married about 2 years ago! I bet you he is not the lady's spec, if not she would have flaunt him on social media cos she frequently post herself. Getting married to your spec is the best. This is someone you will spend your lifetime with and going out to functions with.

How will you feel if you never find him attractive? You may end up becoming unfaithful if especially your spec comes around later. So it's better to wait! Though, in some cases, he may not have 100% of all the qualities you desire but love can conquer all.

I found my spec. I'd say he's everything I admire in a guy but unfortunately, he didn't reciprocate the feelings. I can't force anyone into my space, all the signs were there that showed that I was interested in him but it was futile. So, I've been there. I channeled my energy into self development, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and financially. I invested time in learning new skills, reading books and attending seminars.

Exercised regularly and eating good diet. Spiritually, I deepened my I learnt to love and appreciate myself even more...I can say that I am a better version of myself. Interestingly, another guy got interested in me and he was my spec! In conclusion, Finding your spec is a personal journey, it's just the beginning...love and satisfaction is worth it.

I invite @blessedlife, @solaymann and @bela90

Cc,
@okere-blessing