Effect of Commendation on Children: @delightdear
Greetings mummies and lovely kids, hope your new week is going as planned? It has been a great day here that is why i wish to share this piece with you. Raising children that will be responsible to both the family and society is a bit challenging. Some children grew up with low self-esteem, some grew up to be arrogant and unappreciative. How can we boost our children's confidence or self-esteem and make them feel valued. There are many ways to do this but i want to talk about COMMENDATION.
WHAT IS COMMENDATION?
Oxford dictionary defines commendation as a formal or official praise.(https://www.lexico.com/definition/commendation)
Simply put, commendation means praise. It could be a formal praise maybe an award received for a job done, it could an informal praise from parents or siblings.
WHEN TO COMMEND
When exactly should a child be commended? Every time a child does something outstanding. Commending a child for a job well done boost his or her self confidence , uplift his or her spirit. If a child is commended, such a child is confident among his or her peers. Confidence is extremely important both in adult and in children. It has a way of making someone feels valued or important. But watch out so that your child will not develop an over confidence attitude. So whenever a child does something fantastic, praise such child. Maybe you asked your child to wash some dishes and he does that perfectly, commendation can motivates the child to do more.
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Another instance where a child should be commended is when a child performs well academically. Commend him sincerely from the heart. Not all children are the same, if a child's academic performance is poor, commend the child for trying so hard, try to see his hard work and not the outcome. A child may put up a hard fight to pass an examination, probably comes up the last or maybe second to the last. Yes! The performance is poor, but rather than criticising or comparing that child with another child that took first, commend him for his effort. The tendency to compare is very rampant among parent. Parents compare even within the family circle. Such comparison dulls a child, it makes a child lose his worth. I have been an eye witness to this. A child in my neighbourhood was scolded by his parent for being the 10th in the class, the parent go as far as comparing him with other children in the compound. This affected the child for days, the child finds it very difficult to go out and play with other kids. That action affected the boy psychologically, so rather than comparing him , commend the child first and maybe after some days try to talk to the child about how he or she can put more efforts or work harder next time, and teach him as well or give him a lesson teacher.
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Praising a child has positive effect on them, it motivates them to do more, it makes a child to be happy always. Pay attention to those little thing a child does whether the ones you asked them to do or not
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Dr Macias, a specialist in development and behavioral pediatrics. She suggest that you commend on a behavior you like when you observe it. For example, when you notice your toddler entertaining herself with her blocks, simply say "you are playing so nicely now" (https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/how-to-praise-your-children/)
Parents have to be careful when commending their children so that they do not over praise their children. Too much commendation might make a child develop improper pride, he might start feeling superior to others. While praise has positive effects on children, on the other hand, unnecessary praise can have a negative effects on children.
EFFECTS OF COMMENDATION
√ Boost self confidence
√ Motivation to do more
√Self worth
√ Encouragement
√ Leadership maturity
WAYS TO PRAISE A CHILD
USE THE RIGHT WORDS: Choose your words carefully, words like: thank you my dear, you did great, that is an excellent attempt , well done my dear etc.
LOOK THEM IN THE EYES: When commending a child, it is necessary you look them in the eyes, looking at them that way will show them you truly meant those words. The child facial expression will help you understand how he feels about what you said.
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HOLD THEIR HANDS: Gestures too is another way of sending a message across. Hold his hand and say those kind words to him. Those words can be refreshing.
Thank you dear mummies for going through my page,i'm honoured. Thank you steemkid for this forum.