be:-The February Contest#1 by sduttaskitchen|How can we overcome domestic violence?

Domestic violence is just as its name, it is violence that exists in the home. Domestic violence is usually mentioned between a husband and a wife where a partner physically, verbally or emotionally abuses the other partner.

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Domestic violence is on the rise in Nigerian society recently. I understand that from time immemorial, there have been such issues. It's just that the increase in our societies these days is disturbing and worth questioning to understand why it is so.

• Since this involves two partners, I think emotional intelligence is required to cope with the other partner. Emotional intelligence entails understanding, managing anger/emotions, empathy, kindness and support for the other partner. This is because the failure to manage one's emotions due to anger results in couples lashing out at the other with consideration.

• I also think that couples should respect their spouse's interests and opinions because sometimes it's a difference in interest that usually results in conflict in the home.

• Both partners should be financially stable. From the ones I've heard of, there's usually conflict when the husband, most especially, cannot meet the needs of the family. I believe that when couples are financially stable and the husband providing as necessary, there won't be a case of dissatisfaction that will prompt partners to engage in quarrels that will lead to violence in the home.

• Patience, love and understanding are required in the home to reduce the level of domestic violence in our society. When couples are patient with their partners and also understand their partners' personalities, they will be able to look beyond their faults and love them for who they are and what they represent. Not finding faults and blaming each other, which is one of the reasons that couples quarrel and eventually engage in a fight and abuse.

• Always watch out for red flags in your relationship. Anyone who is capable of slapping or hurting the other partner is capable of being abusive. When you notice such, separate immediately.

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• Uncontrollable anger and bitterness during misunderstanding

• Economic situations, especially as there's inflation and an economic crisis. Many families go through a lot. And so, the transfer of aggression is possible. This can also lead to quarrels that might result in a fight between couples.

• Cheating and irresponsibility of some partners

• Constant quarrels may result in abuse in the home.

• Inferiority complex, especially if one partner is doing better than the other

• Jealousy for one's partner, especially if one is more educated than the other. It happens mostly if the woman is more educated and successful than the man.

• Family background and poor upbringing. That is, if a man was born to see his father beating up his mother, it's possible he may beat his wife for a little misunderstanding.

• Excessive engagement in hard drugs and alcohol can be a cause. I remember a man in our former neighbourhood who was always quarrelling and fighting with his wife whenever he was drunk. The influence of alcohol can be a cause of domestic violence.

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Yes, I believe that domestic violence should be protected.

• We should teach our children, both boys and girls, not to engage in any form of violence from a younger age, violent act such as fighting.

• We should teach our children mutual love and respect for others. It starts from the home, encouraging them to love and respect their siblings. This is exactly what I teach my children. I don't allow my son, who is the oldest, to beat his sister because he has the opportunity to. I encourage him to forgive her when she offends him.

I teach him not to bully others as well, because a bully may turn out to engage in violence in the home.

• Apart from that, we should be models of what we teach our children, because if we teach them the right things and also do them, they'll believe what we teach them and also abide by them.

• Domestic violence has many times resulted in a divorce. The issue of divorce due to a broken marriage is equivalent to raising children that will have violent tendencies in them. That means they may be engaging in domestic violence in the future.

• Moreover, children who have witnessed this act tend to be withdrawn and emotionally depressed due to trauma from domestic violence.

• Domestic violence may injure their personalities, which usually results in low self-esteem and fear for the opposite gender.

• Children may grow to become wild, aggressive and untamed due to experiences of domestic violence from their parents.

Domestic violence is already a serious issue. Individuals, non-governmental and government organisations, not just the family, should raise awareness about the negative effects of domestic violence, which are death of the parties involved, temporary or permanent disability, injury, separation/divorce, hatred for one another etc.

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