The Unspoken Words Behind the Ventilator

Have you ever seen the dark side of life ?

Have you ever lost anyone who really cared and loved you the most ?

Do you feel depressed at times and ever tried to end the journey of life ?

If yes, then I will take you to a secret place where I buried some of mine.

Source of Image: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-father-talking-to-his-son-8841296

When I was waiting inside the hospital near the ventilator room, the security guard came near me.

"Ah… You haven't eaten, have you? If you don’t go now, the canteen will close," the security guard told me.

"It's okay, sir. I’m not hungry," I replied and tried to smile.

"I've been seeing you here since morning. You’ll faint if you stay hungry like this," he said with concern.

"No, sir, I’m fine. Just some water will do," I extended my hands toward the bottle he was holding.

He gladly handed me the bottle . The cold water rushing down my throat was the only relief I had that day.

"Who is admitted here?" he asked seeing my pale face.

"My father, sir," I answered.

"How is he now?" he asked again.

"He is on ventilator " I replied and walked back toward my father’s room.

Until then, I had believed that moving someone to a ventilator room meant they would be saved. But that day, within the walls of that hospital, I realized the harsh truth that ventilator was just a temporary support , when I came to see my father’s condition.

I was among those few who didn't know how to use an elevator, often confuse with open and close switches. But with the help of the lift operator, I somehow learned it. The hospital floors past me, but my mind was elsewhere.

On a chair near the ventilator unit, I sat and fell asleep.

"Hey, wake up… Get up, come on."

It was my uncle and my elder brother shaking me to wake up.

"Go and see him, we already have seen" my brother said.

Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I walked toward my father.

I watched him closely, the pair of lungs that had breathed for so many years were struggling to breathe. Perhaps my brother and uncle had been with my father in the hospital and they are now brave enough to handle this situation but what about my mother, so many things were going through my mind that time.

We decided to let him breathe until his final moments, to give him the respect he deserved.

"Go home now. I’ll stay here. The car is on its way. You should leave—it’s already 11 PM," my uncle insisted.

Me and my brother returned home.

…

Back home.

My mother was so depressed but we had taken her to see him earlier.

As my brother and I set the plates on the table, I noticed my mother's sleepless eyes.

"Did you eat, Mom? The doctor said there's still a pulse, a small hope. Don’t worry, that’s what they told us," I tried to comfort her.

Perhaps she already knew. She said nothing and walked to her room.

My parents were never expressive about their love towards each other. There were no affectionate words in between or grand gestures between them. But previous day, when she returned after seeing my father, I saw her break down in tears. That was the moment I realized that true love is often hidden deep within the heart, it will only visible when it is too late to hold back.

My brother ate and went to bed.

I laid down in the hall, but couldn’t sleep. My mind was restless. Every now and then, I went and checked my mother to see if she had fallen asleep.

At around 1:30 AM, I had fallen asleep.

But at 2:45 AM.

My phone rang.

It was my uncle.

"Hello… Uncle, what happened ?" I asked in sleepy voice.

"He’s gone… Call your brother and come quickly," his trembling voice conveyed the sad news.

My brother understood without me saying anything.

Wiping his tear-filled eyes, he put on his shirt, and together we rushed to hospital.

As my mother asked what had happened, I replied, "They called about a pulse variation. Nothing to worry about. Get some rest, we’ll be back soon."

…

At the hospital, my brother and uncle wept. But I didn’t.

Had I forgot my emotions?

Did I ever love my father?

In his final days, illness had made him short-tempered. And in return, I had met his frustration with my own stubbornness.

Perhaps our clashes had only widened the distance between us.

All the formalities were done, and we brought his body home in an ambulance.

By dawn, the house was surrounded by relatives, friends, and neighbours.

As they carried my father’s body inside, the only sound that filled the air was my mother’s heart-wrenching cries.

Let her grieve… let her release emotions.

The crowd outside were silent.

I found myself exhausted and sat on chair, motionless.

The realization hit me like a storm , never again would my father argue with me. Never again would he be there to fight with me for silly things.

I couldn't hold back anymore.

Tears that I had been holding finally broke.

For a moment, my relatives and friends tried to comfort me.

In that instant, my heart told me what I had been too blind to see .I had always loved my father.

And now, his absence would remain a void I could never fill.

I recalled something my father had once said.

"The day my youngest son was born was one of the happiest days of my life. I distributed sweets to everyone in the hospital."

Yes, along with those sweets, he had given me a good education, a decent life…

And yet, in return, I had given him nothing.

Perhaps those silent, unspoken words behind the ventilator were the ones my heart finally understood.

Dear friends, life is too short, so love and care your loved ones as much as you can.