Love is a difficult topic. It's a feeling and needed, but it doesn't mean that we accept it from everyone, which makes it even harder. You can be in love, but what if you don't feel it or what if you don't like that person?

It's the second time in a short time you start this topic by writing this, you proved that there's no one around, no one like your family, who can support you. We talked about it before, and you mentioned there's help, which is a plus but it doesn't take that feeling of loneliness away.

I truly hope that it will never end this way, but like you I also wouldn't know how to react in a situation like this. I asked myself if I would like to see the next morning, the sun come up but I can't say a full yes, although there are plenty of things I like to do and finish.

Friend, I started painting again and I hope you will too. it might not be that interesting, but ugly artworks wonderwell. It's painting with feelings, and if not in the mood, you just paint a page black or blue or red.

Back to love, being loved moreover receiving support.. Indeed, with money one can buy everything, comfort and company included. It can be it's not the company we want in the first place, but what isn't there can grow and bloom if you give it a chance.

It feels like you are the only one, I am, all the others are, but that's not the case. Some have support, others are loved, many haven't both, but they are still alive. Why? Because they found a way and grew strong in a different way or learned how to ask and enjoy. It's no crime to do so and important is to open up and ask for what you need and stand for your rights. Mom is doing this now for you but you can too. You did it with the nurse through WhatsApp remember?

I don't have the solution for the lack of love, the family you wish you had but there are people around. Some you might not have met but they can be the miracles you need when you believe there's no way out. Do you only need practical help? Right now you might but you can walk to the bathroom, don't struggle that much with breathing. Your health can improve more, enough to take care of yourself, be optimistic and open the door to hearts.

For now I can only say: try to enjoy the moments you have, even if you sweat, do something positive for you instead of always sacrificing yourself.

A big hug to you!