The Grey Me Is Back and Lying Unconscious

He is lying unconscious in the other room right now. Today I mixed something in his drink so that he drinks it like a soda, and it does not have any effect on him. Although red streaks are hanging from his eyes, wrinkles are on his forehead, and he is drenched in sweat, and that's it. I can see his evil feelings remain intact on his face as before.

 
I am surprised why this trick never occurred to me before. Perhaps it occurred to me, but I suppressed it after thinking something. I was afraid that he would recognize the taste in the first sip and catch me, but by the time he finished the glass, his eyes had started dimming. I felt like winning the battle at that very moment, but then my heart was sinking by the thought of the consequences. Still, I mustered up courage and looked at him once. I always looked very ordinary in front of him. Anyway, now his eyes were closed and his head was hanging, and I had a feeling that he was dying.

Source

But I know that he can jump back at me at any moment. When he regains consciousness, he will not say anything. His strength lies in his silence. I was more terrified by the mere thought of his mute disregard, and I thought I was a coward.

By the way, I don't know how I had thought that after such a long separation, I was now completely free from his terror. Perhaps it was my illusion, and that's why I had brought him with me today. Maybe, I thought that on seeing my living style, beautiful wife, and luxurious mansion, he would leave and run away from my life, and I would be free from him forever.

But these were all lame excuses. The truth was probably that I had not brought him with me, but he had come with me on his own, as if he wanted to humiliate me. Obviously I must not have understood this subtle thing at that time. I am never able to think of the right thing at the right time. This is the problem. There are many other problems, but it would be useless to mention them here.

I had tried to present a lame explanation to Mala, my wife, and it had no effect on her. She had lost her temper as soon as she saw him. Perhaps I had realized my stupidity and the whole situation immediately. I should have somehow dealt with that wretch there, away from home, on that side of the road. If I had broken my fearful silence and had put forth all my compulsions before him and had clearly told him, "Look, have mercy on me and leave me alone—then perhaps we would have reached some compromise there itself. Whatever the case, I should not have brought him to my house.

But now all this wisdom was useless. Mala and he were staring at each other as if they were two old enemies. For a moment I was reassured thinking that Mala would handle the whole situation herself. I had said in a special flirtatious tone, which I keep reserved for such delicate occasions, "Darling, please leave him for a while; we have returned from a very long walk and then give us whatever punishment you like."

She had moved out of the way, but her tension was not reduced, nor did she let me sit. And I myself was looking at both of them as if I wanted to create a conspiracy with one of them while evading the eyes of the other.

Then Mala took me aside as soon as she got the chance and started scolding me. "He is the same old friend of yours, isn't he? We have been married for so many years, but you have remained the same. Will you say anything now? Why the heck have you brought him back?"

I was surprised, but her anger was justified. Everything she says is always right, and I accept my mistakes quietly.

And yes, just to make me happy, she does make such complaints. "I don't know what pleasure you get in such small matters. I agree that you are much more intelligent than me, but sometimes it is just to make me irritated... blah blah."

I like these false rebukes of hers, although I am not very happy with them. Still, she thinks that these keep me confused, and I know that my reins are in her hands, and I like it.

Mala was saying, "Will you say anything now? Oh, he is such a dirty man! The whole house is stinking. Why did you bring him here?"

Now obviously I could not tell Mala anything. So I stood there with my head down, and she kept scolding me for a long time.

Anyway! After standing like this for some time with my head down, I finally started saying in a very helpless voice, "Oh, Sweety, I don't even know that wretch properly; there is no question of friendship with him."

Mala stamped her foot and said, "You are lying, a blatant lie!"

Saying this, she went inside, and I stood there for some more time with my head down and then returned to the room where he was sitting and smiling, as if he knew everything I was going through.

Now what actually happened was that that evening, I know she felt very bad about my going out without any reason.

She is right, and I have become so used to Mala's company that everything seems desolate without her. When she is around, no random thought of any kind comes to mind; everything seems solid and meaningful. And maybe she was not around; it happened this evening, which had never happened before.

So that evening, I don't know what I was lost in. Usually, even when I am away from home, I keep thinking about home—not because there is any kind of problem at home. Everything was working fine, especially when a woman like Mala controls everything. No, there was no problem at home—good salary, good wife, good friends, their wives were also very nice, and good house, nice lawn, good neighborhood, good food despite the high prices, good bed, and good life. What else does a person need?

That evening, it is possible that my mind strayed for a while towards my past life. Whatever it was, I had gone very far from home, and then suddenly he stood in front of me. It felt as if some dangerous stranger wanted to ruin my present and block my way after seeing me alone.

I had stopped suddenly. I looked in his eyes and settled on his smile. Yes, I could see a glimpse of the entire grey era I had spent with him. I felt as if, after being hidden for years, I had been caught once again.

For some time, or perhaps for however long we stood facing each other in that darkness of the road. By the way, it is true that as soon as I recognized him, I started remembering Mala. Oh yeah, I always remember her in every crisis. At the same time, I also had a desire to run away from here, but there was this desire that instead of returning home, I should quietly go with that wretch, go wherever he wants to take me, and Mala should not even know.

That bastard must have sensed all my trouble. I raised my eyes with some difficulty and looked at him. His hand was extended towards me. I took two steps back in anger, and his laughter became louder. I faced his eyes with clenched teeth. While giving my hand to his rough hand and bearing the foul heat of his breath on my face, I felt as if after being free for so long, I had again handed myself back to him.

No conversation took place till I reached home. Wrapped in our own silence, we were walking slowly, as if we were carrying a dead body on our shoulders.

So, when I returned to the drawing room with a frown on my face after listening to Mala's scolding, that bastard was sitting happily, smoking a cigarette. For a moment, I had the feeling that the room belonged to him.

Then, regaining my composure, without making eye contact with him, I opened all the windows of the room, turned up the fan even more, and then I heard his laughter, and, helpless, I moved away from him and sat quietly.

I felt like standing in front of him with my hands folded, telling him the whole truth and saying, "Look, friend, now have mercy on me and quietly leave from here before Mala comes to know about our past otherwise think about the consequences."

But I did not say anything. Even if I had said something, he would not have replied to my appeal except for another sarcastic smile. He is very cruel, believes in getting to the bottom of every matter, and hates sentimentality. Seeing him surveying the room, I started looking at him with a poisonous gaze. Sitting on the sofa with his legs folded, he looked like an animal. His condition appeared very bad, but his face still resembled mine somewhat. This thought made me angry.

There was a time when he was my only role model, when we used to roam around for hours together, when we resigned from many jobs together and were fired from some together, when we thought ourselves superior to all those people who walk on the beaten track and waste their whole lives building an ugly and conventional house, and who have no regrets about anything. For some time I was lost in the memories of that time.

He was smiling, as if he had looked inside me. Seeing him so easily dominating me, I asked to change the topic, "How many days will you stay here?"

Once again the decorated atmosphere of our house was shaken by his laughter, and I was afraid that Mala would reach there and tear his face apart. In a short while, she came in front of us, smiling and strutting, wearing a very beautiful dress. She folded her hands and greeted us in a very charming way and said, “You look very tired. I have kept hot water. You should take a shower and drink something to freshen up. We will have our meals late.”

I was very happy. Now Mala had taken the matter into her hands, and I was getting worried for no reason. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. He really looked scared. I thought, now he will run away on his own, because I understand Mala’s wisdom, knowledge, and looks are killer. How much fun it will be if that wretch also gets trapped and then I ask him, "Now tell me, you bastard, did you understand now?"

I closed my eyes and saw him dancing around Mala, falling in love with her, lying down with her. I felt a strange sense of relief. When I opened my eyes, he had gone to the bathroom, and Mala was bent over, arranging the sofa. I tried to look into her eyes and smile, but then I looked down in fear at her tensed face. It was clear that she had not forgiven me yet.

When he came out after taking a bath, he was wearing my clothes. Meanwhile, Mala had brought out the beer, and while filling a glass, she was asking, 'Do you eat your curry hot or with more chilies in your food?'

We sat and drank for some time. Mala kept talking to him and asking him small questions, "How do you like this city? Is the beer cold? Where did you leave your luggage?"

Mala's sweet talk made it seem as if a simple friend from our own circle had come to stay with us for a few days, and his big car was parked in front of our door.

I was very happy, and when Mala went out to order food, for the first time that evening, I looked at that bastard fearlessly. He had drunk three or four glasses of beer, and the yellowness on his face had reduced somewhat. But as soon as Mala went out, the same challenge came in his smile again, and I felt as if he was saying, "I like your wife, but man! Warn her, I am not as weak as she thinks."

For a moment, my enthusiasm subsided. It seemed as if the matter was not going to be resolved so easily. I remembered that even in those days he liked beautiful and lively women, but their charm did not last long. Still, I thought, the matter was out of my hands, and I could do nothing except wait.

The food was very good that day, and after dinner, Mala herself went to drop him off at his room. But Mala did not talk to me that night. I knew she was not happy!

I made many jokes and said, "He looked very good after bathing, didn't he?" I teased her a lot and tried many times to make peace, but she did not let me come near her. I could not sleep that night, yet I was confident deep inside that somehow Mala would definitely succeed in driving him away the next day.

But my guess turned out to be wrong. I agree that Mala is very smart, very intelligent, and very charming, but that bastard's impudence is unmatched. Mala kept taking care of him for three days. In my clothes, he had now become exactly like me, and it seemed as if Mala had two husbands. I used to leave for the office early in the morning in my car, and who knows what they used to talk about after that.

But whenever she got a chance, she would take me inside and scold me, "Will he ever leave from here? As long as he is in the house, we can neither call anyone nor go to anyone's place. He doesn't even have the manners to talk. What does he want, after all? Why the heck is he here anyways?"

What could I tell her about what he wants? What can I say? I am ashamed of myself."

Mala did not change her behavior, but on the fourth day she left the house and went to her brother's place. I tried to stop her, but she did not listen. That day the wretch laughed a lot, loudly, repeatedly.

It has been five days since Mala left. I have stopped going to the office. He is back in his original colors. He has taken off my clothes and has put on his dirty clothes again. He does not say anything, but I know what he wants—he will not get that chance again!

Source

And today at last I have succeeded in making her unconscious for a while. Now I have two options. One is to kill him before he regains consciousness. The second is to pack my essentials and get ready, and as soon as he regains consciousness, we both should walk on the same path from which I had fled and taken refuge in Mala's lap a few years ago. If Mala were here at this time, she would have found a third way. But she is not here, and I don't know what to do.

I guess by now you have recognized it is me. The real part of my personality, or you can say my gray part but real character. In fact, I am trying to escape from my own real self.

Beneficiaries @hive-107855
@fazal-qadir

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