When does the "Mid-life Crisis" actually start? As i fear that Mine is warming up, getting ready for my turn.

Hi guys, I know it's a weird Q, but my life has come to a point where I'm looking around and seeing differences that I've not noticed, yet have been there the whole time.
I sometimes feel like I'm still 19 years old, I don''t know why 19, but that was a good time, but I'm 38....yeah, I know, that's a far away age to keep remembering. I've always lived with karma frame of mind, still do. I also feel like my early twenties sometime, but never my age. I think it's because that when I actually opened my eyes to the real world. The real world being all about lies and fighting to get to the top, of anything. Most stay in that dreamworld, fake world!, go to work, pay the bills, raises the children with his wife, tick all the boxes = success! buying a house that they will have to sell for money when they can't work anymore,

But is that actually Success?
I myself don't think so. Thats a life following the rules and being a good sensible and quite citizen. the majority of people don't realize what they are doing. They are the sheep of the country. I, can't be. and knew from an early age , well 19 is early, after 5 years of work and many different roles, the word 'jobs' sounds dirty, I noticed that everyone was either crazy or obligated and knew that that was not living. Thankfully, I can't take orders from anyone. I honestly get heated up when someone, anyone tells me to do something. Most times it's something that needs to be done, but I don't need anyone telling the me the obvious or undermine me with their labeled power. So I've made a living being self-employed. various roles. and I've not much to show, but I've spent a lot and and many good times to remember. Yet, I feel like I need to start getting serious about my future.
I've started putting any spare cash on the exchanges. Buy low, sell high,and a few others things, don't sound too hard, I like it for some reason. I plan to trade for as long as I need to now.

My goal is to buy my Mum a home anywhere in the world she wants and have enough for me and my family. What will I do with millions? one will be enough.

I've got to a point where I don't feel comfortable.
I don't know where to go from here, this point in my life. I wanted to have a lot of good memories, but i've had to move and start up my life again many a times.
I want a family, but don't think I can be bothered. even women. I just can't be bothered withe the courting and talking blah blah blah to get some, Can't go too prostitute, no love there, no kink, no good looking girls. tried it once, never CAME again there. I need to know the lady I'm Fu##ing. It's a turn on to know the person, even a small chat is enough to find something to turn me on. I hate Make up'd girls. Less is more beautiful.
I've got new place now and it's this move that's making feel like I need to change.
Don't get me wrong, I've lived on a PC, yet is still can't get a website up but can do all manner of other thing. I'm really good with a computer, but when it come to new tech, I've nowhere to learn it or know about it. I don't mind much, but it would be useful to know the terminology, especially when it come's to Cryptocurrencies. I feel OH SO stupid. All these years on the net, I'm lost to most of the terms and words, that can make you millions if you know it all. I feel like i'm left behind and don't want to give up my current lifestyle, but need to. To make something of myself and make my mum proud. i act like a teenager sometimes and forget that I'm ageing at the same time.
I know feel like I need to catch up with you guys. I need the right knowledge.
STEEM is providing all of the for me. I'm new, this is my first post, still haven't done a intro post yet, can't say why, as I don't myself.
But it time to pull up my socks and become a man. Hopefully a rich man. As I'm far from wealthy. I've not thought about my future and that has been a big mistake. One I can't do anything about except catch up.
STEEM has giving me so much help and also being part of this community makes you money. Forget facebook, this is the new Social Media Platform. One that gives back to those who try to inform us, teach us and benefit our lives anyway we want.
This post won't make much, I've seen the ones that get three figures but they deserve it.

Back to my problem. Am I going through a mid-life crisis? What is it?
I do feel lost, in a way where I've not planned for my future.
I feel behind, yet everyone else was planning their futures without letting me know what to do as well. I've never had a mentor or someone as a role model. NO ONE!
STEEM is my new new mentor and I'm happy to learn from here.
I've recently started trading and there's so much to learn. Not made anything, I think I'm down about £120. But I'm learning, so i think thats OK.
Any advice to make money is welcome. I don't mind working to get it, as nothing is free, well nothing that will make you rich fast. I'm a patient man and investing in altcoins. So if you guys know of anything I can do to get some more money, please don't hesitate. I need to catch up with you all.

Anyway, I've got STEEM now for help and tuition.
So if anyone want to help me out buy pointing me in the right directions to earn some serious money with LEGIT site, please post.