The Emotional Toll Of Nursing... Nothing Will Prepare You For SIDS

It finally happened. Losing the patient that made me question if I could go on with this or not.

We lost a 6 week old baby girl last night. And it was the toughest most challenging shift in my nursing career to date.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

The baby was put to bed at home early in the evening. When the mother checked on her around 1am she was cold and non-responsive and not breathing. Unfortunately in the remote area they live in the trip by ambulance to our ER was around 30 minutes. Paramedics had already started CPR and intubated her by the time she arrived. We worked on her for what seemed like hours. Even had L&D nurses that normally would not come to the ER came and did chest compressions trying to will this little baby back to life. We worked on her for over an hour. But it was unknown how long she was unconscious.

In the end we know we had done everything we could. We know that there was little chance. We know there is no explanation for SIDS. We know that this won't be the last time this happens. And we know it will hurt every time.

I'm still numb and have a shift tonight.

I am extremely proud of our team. From the doctors and nurses and paramedics and everyone who helped out. To the chaplain who was there to console us at the end of the shift.

I hugged my own babies when I got home. And cried in my husbands arms.
Now I go back on shift.

And that is all we can do as nurses. The rest is up to God.

Love Always,

pic from google images New Orleans Cemetery Angels