On Being Able to Provide For My Family
Prior to developing Multiple Sclerosis I was a hard working family man. I was brought up by a single mother who instilled in us children a very strong work ethos of providing for the family. I never had a very well paid job, but I put in the work and the hours to make sure my family were provided for. At one point I spent around 5 years doing five or six twelve hour night shifts a week to be able to provide for a wife and two kids.
The rapid onset of my condition in 1999 placed a huge strain on my relationship and we divorced not long after. In six months I had gone from a hard working family man to a single disabled person. This brought about an enormous shift in my self worth as a person and a sense of my uselessness to anybody. I survived on government handouts and the love and support of my immediate family. Depression is an integral part of the condition when dealing with MS and I am not ashamed to say that although I have a handle on it today, it was not always so. If you allow it, depression will drag you down in an inescapable spiral, and it had me in its grip for a while.
Around fourteen years ago my MS had improved to a point where I could start doing some work. I joined my brother in his construction firm and put myself through college in order to train as an electrician. It felt great being able to at least support myself again. I enjoyed the challenge of a new career and started to feel that maybe I was over the worse of what my health would throw at me.
I then had the good fortune of meeting the love of my life. Already a mother of two, she of course accepted I had two children from my marriage. I was upfront about my condition and she was totally accepting of it, even though she didn't quite understand it. Not many do. We quickly created a life together and within a year we had a son. The joy of being once more in a family that I could provide for cannot be underestimated.
Unfortunately, Multiple Sclerosis had not forgotten me, no matter how much I tried to pretend it had been a temporary blip. Slowly the old symptoms returned, I was ever more tired and in pain and I eventually had to seek medical help. I had an MRI scan and sure enough, the lesions on my brain and spinal column had increased.
It was no longer safe for me, or others, to do manual work. I had to give up riding my motorcycle because of trouble with balance and distance judgement, and that was a great loss of freedom. Without blinking, my girlfriend took up part time work, learned to drive to be able to transport us anywhere and totally supported me emotionally and financially. Of course, with children in tow we were forced to take government handouts.
During this time, she was pressing me for another child. At first I refused - I already had three sons by this point and the odds were that there was a good chance I might have a daughter. Although I always longed for my own little princess, there is a slightly higher chance of a female offspring developing Multiple Sclerosis if one of her parents have it. Eventually, I gave in and lo and behold, six years ago our daughter was born.
In the thirteen years we have been together, my health has never bothered my girlfriend. She supports me, understands when I am in pain, when I need space but - more importantly - when I need a kick in the butt to focus on the great things we share in our lives together as a family. She keeps me grounded.
Despite how wonderful she has always been, because of my ingrained sense of needing to provide for my family, my self worth has not been all that high. However, last year I discovered this wonderful place. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first but I just knew I could make something. Slowly, I grew my account, my following and eventually my earnings. If we needed something, I had access to crypto. If a bill came in we couldn't pay for through our usual means, I had the funds to cover it. Christmas last year was the first since we have been together that we didn't have to get into debt. January is usually a tough time for us as we have two children both born in that month. This year Steem covered Christmas and their two birthdays.
My girlfriend's daughter is 22 and a single mother. She supports herself and her son by working part time in school as a teaching assistant. Part of her role involves a lot of study and official documentation regarding child safety, privacy etc. Until recently, if she needed access to a PC for any work, she used mine. The time has come however when she needs her own laptop in order to do work at home. Not being very tech savvy, she asked my opinion on what she needs and how much it will cost.
She has been saving up for several months. Her income isn't huge so it would have taken her a while to save up, cutting down on expenses elsewhere. It felt absolutely brilliant to be able to say to her - I got this. I found a laptop more than suitable for her office work and placed an order a few days ago on Amazon, spending some of my SBD earned here. It arrived today.
Source
No, I am not showing off to say 'Hey, look what I bought now'. I am extending my gratitude to this community for supporting me, my blog and posts to be able to let me do this. As a disabled person the sheer joy it gives me to be able to contribute is indescribable. Although I am in the midst of another MS flare up, thanks to Steem I can still support my family, feeling like an asset rather than a burden. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Like what I do? Vote for my witness https://steemit.com/~witnesses - scroll below top the 50 witnesses and enter my name in the text box, then click vote. Thanks for your support.
Its a two way street mate and you have given so much more than you have ever recieved Muxxy.
There are very few here that can say they have given more in such a short space of time. You deserve everything you've gotten so far and more my friend.
I've lost count of the amount of times I've chatted to you in DM when I've needed an ear and you've never once let me down.
It's great to read that you have regained the sense of self worth since finding this place and to see a little bit more into 'Muxxy World' I may have to write a serious piss take story about you one day with that title!
Seriously though mate, you are a legend and I'm so pleased Steemit has rewarded you for that.
Steem on Muxxy.
You are always there for me when I need an ear dude, that's what mates do. Thanks for your kind words.
Wow, what a truly wonderful post! I have deep gratitude for everything you're doing on here @gmuxx. The contributions your making are huge. And the fact that you're getting to help your family in return is the magic that this platform offers. Fantastic post!
Thank you Doug. Much appreciated.
There is so much here that I can relate to. Your words touch people, and make the world a better place. Thank you for sharing this.
Moved to tears, @gmuxx, reading this... Happy tears, tears of awe and compassion for your suffering and your triumph. Your girlfriend (and her daughter) are lucky to have you, as you are them. Steemit, too, is certainly fortunate to have a stellar human being like you on board to teach by example and share your considerable skills/talent.
I wish you continued success, my friend; may your heart be free of worry and your body free of pain (as much as possible). I am deeply grateful to you—for your trust, in laying your heart bare this way...
We're richer for knowing your story. Thank you, for the Inspiration!
Thank you very much. Awesome to know my words can have such a profound effect on someone.
It's not just your words, my friend, it's your life example. Much Love.
You must always remember that stories such as yours give a lot of broken people hope of finding love, leaving the past behind.
Your Family is lucky to have as are you to have them :)
Thank you for your lovely comment.
I wish I could more than simply upvote this. Thank you for sharing, it has touched me profoundly, personally living with and in a family with physical disability. Although every person is different, and disability rarely compare, the experience and the mindset one can strive for are very similar. I'm very happy to have gotten to know you here, and on TWB.
Upvotes are nice, but it's nicer when people read the contents of your post and reply with such awesome comments. Thank you. So happy to have met you at The Block.
Your story is beautiful and you are brave to tell it. I love Steemit so much and really and truly believe in the difference it can make in everyone's lives.
I know you work hard in your discords, at being a witness and at being truly awesome. You deserve this success!
Upvoted 100% because I believe in you :) ✨✨✨
Thank you very much for your lovely words Mewmew. It's support from people like you that have made it all possible.
This Muxx. I too know the blow of losing an income and feeling a burden on friends and family. Your struggle is far worse than mine in many ways. Especially because you have kids. You don't only have a spouse and animals. I am so glad I am not a parent for so many reasons. I admire you for the positive outlook you are able to maintain despite all of it. You aren't trying to brag. You're being grateful. But if you'd been trying to brag, it would have been okay too. You wouldn't have been bragging about the thing. You'd have been bragging about contributing to supporting you family despite being as disabled as you are. You'd have been bragging about how much you put into this community despite your handicaps.
This was both inspiring and difficult to read. I also have an autoimmune disorder (Myasthenia gravis). It's been difficult and I admire you for being able to keep on Steeming. I've had to stop after only a month last year as my flare-ups required frequent hospital trips. Even now, as I try to start all over again, my flare-ups hinder me. It's inspiring how much you've triumphed over your health condition as well as the broken relationship. I hope someday to be able to walk the same flowery path you've carved for yourself. Your family is very fortunate to have you. Cheers to more blessings!
Thank you for your reply.
This is not all me, there is a team of other community members without whom I could not do half of what I do and who's support I rely on.
Sorry to hear of your health troubles, I hope they get better soon.
That's good to hear! Hopefully, I can find where I belong to. It's hard to keep drifting and looking for a community to settle in. But it's even harder to set down roots when I'm on and off Steemit a lot. I'm hoping 2018 will be different.
There are things I would normally say about your ex in less civil conversation, so instead I will say that your optimism empowers us all through your actions and words, and that I am very happy to read that you have been able to afford some degrees of freedom in a harsh and random world, and perhaps more importantly found someone who cares about you in the way that you deserve to be cared for.