"Confessions of a (healing) Compulsive Liar" My last post before unplugging & going dark for a few weeks, to focus on self-healing, connecting, and calling in clarity!
I’ve been getting so caught up in my mission to improve the world, that I’ve neglected taking care of myself. Sure, my diet could always improve, but right now, I need to focus on getting back to doing all the inner work that I used to cherish.
My fingertips have been glued to my laptop, while my yoga mats been vacant, and I feel as if I’m loosing some of my zest- and peace.
Luckily, there are seasons for everything and today is a new day.
Sometimes I forget the fact that my most influential/inspirational/ripple-making content is almost always the times I am simply sharing my healing journey, which is all the more reason to focus myself there more and more as I move forward... That and it's the only thing I have full control over, and the only thing that moves me closer to being the kind of human I want to see raising kids.
So much love for you and everything you do & are brother!
These words resonate with me so strongly right now as I am truly in a place where taking the time to heal is a critical part of my being. I am so blessed by these words especially the forgiveness statement which I will be putting to practice as I proceed in my daily living. I am so grateful to all of the beings of light that cross my path.
As someone who has pretty much always deeply valued radical honesty, I really appreciate this post, and it challenged me to be less judgmental. I like how you explained your past as a survival mechanism. I often get self-righteous about my perspective on truth and integrity, and I can get very frustrated with any inconsistency I see in others. This is a helpful reminder to me that everyone is on their own path and (hopefully) working towards healing in their own ways. I think transparency and honesty are so powerful. Self-awareness is so valuable. Thanks for sharing your life journey with us.
The funny thing is, I get a little excited when I feel myself get judgmental around something, because (in my case) it almost always points out something from my past that I haven't forgiven myself for yet :-) I spent a LONG time hating myself, then a shorter, but long time seeing all of these different things as problems I needed to get rid of, and now I see it all as opportunities to heal myself and work transmutation on a deeper level, to turn lead into gold as it were.
If I hadn't lived the life that I have... well obviously I wouldn't be me, but in a more specific sense I wouldn't be able to connect with people on so many different parts of the journey, to truly connect & empathize with that part of the process, and share my own insights, follies, and tools from when I was there.
I really want to focus more of my content back on this stuff, to push myself to share more of my healing journey, where I get caught up, what tools help out, etc. I've found it so easy to distract myself from it, but not only do I feel better the more I do it, but the impact that content, that sharing has, is the most rewarding.
I love that genuine approach. It's like, "Hey, I'm on this journey and here's what it looks like." I think so many people are almost starving for sincere connection and they want role models and friends to look to that are not just sharing the struggles, but also sharing the tools that help them overcome.
I sometimes trip up over the word "judgmental" because some think we should never be judgmental about anything. For me, I think we can and should use our rational minds to make accurate judgements about reality when it comes to what increases or decreases human well-being, even (and maybe especially) when that involves another human being. Judgements can be helpful (when accurate), but that doesn't mean we have to add shame, accusation, hatred, anger, or anything like that once we've made a judgement and backed it up with reasons evidence and logic. As your post reminded me, just because something is "bad" (such as lying) doesn't mean the person stuck in that pattern should be ridiculed, ostracized, etc. It may be that they need some healthy separation from others to prevent harm but also that they need love and healing to find new more productive patterns.
I'm so glad you not only found better patterns, but you're sharing them with so many others as well.
Man, listen to me. Someone's going to call me a hippie now. :) Heheh. I enjoyed reading your last post about Solsara as well. It definitely stretches me to think outside the box.
Ya, "judgmental" is definitely one of those words that is so often used with other context added onto it, to the point that even I tend to hear it that way, especially after that Solsara workshop, where it was used in the additional context way most of the time.
I can definitely say from personal experience, that where someone is now is no indicator of who they will be in the future. I find it extremely important to look to potential healing as our first priority in cases of conflict, aberrant/communally-unwanted behavior, etc. The concept/practice of unitive justice is one that I love sharing, and would love to see more anarchists have in their utility belts.
Wow Kenny! I havent resonated with a piece of writing like this since I read Martha Beck's How to Tune to Your Inner Wisdom. http://marthabeck.com/2013/10/inner-wisdom/ It was huge for my growth. Your post hit very close to home for me. I too have had an issue with honesty my whole life and just like you, for me it stemmed from wanting to avoid punishment from my parents and teachers growing up. It translated in to some big issues for Cat and I. After a call with Stefan Molyneux of all people (this was many years ago and he was a very defferent person then) we realized that my childhood fear of punishment led to dishonesty as an adult. I was spanked as a child and would do whatever I could, including stuffing batteries in my back pockets, to lighten the blow. I always blamed others and never took personal responsibility. It was always someone else's fault. So cool to see you come to a similar understanding and work on healing your lack of integrity with your word.
I've also struggled with gas-lighting and not being honest about how I am feeling when asked. While reading your piece I had a realization that me not being honest with myself or others about my emotions is yet another instance of me not being in integrity with my word.
The "act as if" strategy I think can bear major fruit for me. Often times I find myself in a funk and I am conscious and mindful of the funk but I can't break free of it. I know that things dont have to be as they are for me but I find myself wallowing. In those times, I am going to call upon "act as if" and work to lift myself out of the despair and self loathing. In those dark moments, that is who I am, but it isnt who I have to be. I will "act as if" I am a perfect and beautiful human being capable of accepting and facing my difficult emotions and working through them so I can be at peace and balance.
I also feel you on the work getting in the way of the work. I often times experience a pinnacle in my self growth and then lean back in to my work, neglecting the maintenance necessary to remain in balance. Your article and the tips and tools you share have inspired me to get back in to the swing of things with my self-work.
For me some good tips and tools include:
daily exercise
mindfulness practice
self love, mainly doing what brings me joy
forgiving myself and others when I or them slip up
focusing on what I have rather than what is lacking
Thanks again Kenny. I have really enjoyed your writing and it was great to get to hang out in Acapulco. Cant wait to see you in Austin!!!
So wonderful brother! I'm glad this resonated with you, and really love doing this kind of content for exactly this reason!!
My early years of "waking up" involved a LOT of Molyneux, because he used to put out a lot of great content haha. Those call-in shows were always so, so great, and I definitely got a lot of help on this path from him.
I have to say, of all the tools, quotes, insights, etc. that I've gotten, those few words: "act as if" has definitely been the most potent. I started acting as if years ago, and now for the most part I just am, minus the little hiccups. So I keep moving the vision forward, to a better and better possibility that becomes clear as I move in the right direction, and just keep acting as if.
So glad my journey can help you on yours, and I'm very much looking forward to dropping in again soon. Love you brother!
Thanks for sharing so much heart Kenny! Got sucked into my first Steemit portal after watching your Steemit tip video about the intro post and your last Anarchapulco interview with Nathan! Happy to see your momentum carrying into the unknown soon..see ya out there in the waves of life!
Amazing article Kenny! Theres times that im such a workaholic, that little voice inside me shouts, "Do some yoga or go out to the park and meditate" Thankyou for sharing ! ☺👍💯
Kenny, what can I say, you’re an inspiration!
I’ve been getting so caught up in my mission to improve the world, that I’ve neglected taking care of myself. Sure, my diet could always improve, but right now, I need to focus on getting back to doing all the inner work that I used to cherish.
My fingertips have been glued to my laptop, while my yoga mats been vacant, and I feel as if I’m loosing some of my zest- and peace.
Luckily, there are seasons for everything and today is a new day.
Enjoy your time off the blockchain :)
Thanks brother!
Sometimes I forget the fact that my most influential/inspirational/ripple-making content is almost always the times I am simply sharing my healing journey, which is all the more reason to focus myself there more and more as I move forward... That and it's the only thing I have full control over, and the only thing that moves me closer to being the kind of human I want to see raising kids.
So much love for you and everything you do & are brother!
These words resonate with me so strongly right now as I am truly in a place where taking the time to heal is a critical part of my being. I am so blessed by these words especially the forgiveness statement which I will be putting to practice as I proceed in my daily living. I am so grateful to all of the beings of light that cross my path.
Awesome, Kenny! Have a wonderful trip, a powerful healing experience, and thank you for your radical honesty. <3
Kenny, you are a beautiful human.
As someone who has pretty much always deeply valued radical honesty, I really appreciate this post, and it challenged me to be less judgmental. I like how you explained your past as a survival mechanism. I often get self-righteous about my perspective on truth and integrity, and I can get very frustrated with any inconsistency I see in others. This is a helpful reminder to me that everyone is on their own path and (hopefully) working towards healing in their own ways. I think transparency and honesty are so powerful. Self-awareness is so valuable. Thanks for sharing your life journey with us.
Thank you brother!
The funny thing is, I get a little excited when I feel myself get judgmental around something, because (in my case) it almost always points out something from my past that I haven't forgiven myself for yet :-) I spent a LONG time hating myself, then a shorter, but long time seeing all of these different things as problems I needed to get rid of, and now I see it all as opportunities to heal myself and work transmutation on a deeper level, to turn lead into gold as it were.
If I hadn't lived the life that I have... well obviously I wouldn't be me, but in a more specific sense I wouldn't be able to connect with people on so many different parts of the journey, to truly connect & empathize with that part of the process, and share my own insights, follies, and tools from when I was there.
I really want to focus more of my content back on this stuff, to push myself to share more of my healing journey, where I get caught up, what tools help out, etc. I've found it so easy to distract myself from it, but not only do I feel better the more I do it, but the impact that content, that sharing has, is the most rewarding.
I love that genuine approach. It's like, "Hey, I'm on this journey and here's what it looks like." I think so many people are almost starving for sincere connection and they want role models and friends to look to that are not just sharing the struggles, but also sharing the tools that help them overcome.
I sometimes trip up over the word "judgmental" because some think we should never be judgmental about anything. For me, I think we can and should use our rational minds to make accurate judgements about reality when it comes to what increases or decreases human well-being, even (and maybe especially) when that involves another human being. Judgements can be helpful (when accurate), but that doesn't mean we have to add shame, accusation, hatred, anger, or anything like that once we've made a judgement and backed it up with reasons evidence and logic. As your post reminded me, just because something is "bad" (such as lying) doesn't mean the person stuck in that pattern should be ridiculed, ostracized, etc. It may be that they need some healthy separation from others to prevent harm but also that they need love and healing to find new more productive patterns.
I'm so glad you not only found better patterns, but you're sharing them with so many others as well.
Man, listen to me. Someone's going to call me a hippie now. :) Heheh. I enjoyed reading your last post about Solsara as well. It definitely stretches me to think outside the box.
Ya, "judgmental" is definitely one of those words that is so often used with other context added onto it, to the point that even I tend to hear it that way, especially after that Solsara workshop, where it was used in the additional context way most of the time.
I can definitely say from personal experience, that where someone is now is no indicator of who they will be in the future. I find it extremely important to look to potential healing as our first priority in cases of conflict, aberrant/communally-unwanted behavior, etc. The concept/practice of unitive justice is one that I love sharing, and would love to see more anarchists have in their utility belts.
Wow Kenny! I havent resonated with a piece of writing like this since I read Martha Beck's How to Tune to Your Inner Wisdom. http://marthabeck.com/2013/10/inner-wisdom/ It was huge for my growth. Your post hit very close to home for me. I too have had an issue with honesty my whole life and just like you, for me it stemmed from wanting to avoid punishment from my parents and teachers growing up. It translated in to some big issues for Cat and I. After a call with Stefan Molyneux of all people (this was many years ago and he was a very defferent person then) we realized that my childhood fear of punishment led to dishonesty as an adult. I was spanked as a child and would do whatever I could, including stuffing batteries in my back pockets, to lighten the blow. I always blamed others and never took personal responsibility. It was always someone else's fault. So cool to see you come to a similar understanding and work on healing your lack of integrity with your word.
I've also struggled with gas-lighting and not being honest about how I am feeling when asked. While reading your piece I had a realization that me not being honest with myself or others about my emotions is yet another instance of me not being in integrity with my word.
The "act as if" strategy I think can bear major fruit for me. Often times I find myself in a funk and I am conscious and mindful of the funk but I can't break free of it. I know that things dont have to be as they are for me but I find myself wallowing. In those times, I am going to call upon "act as if" and work to lift myself out of the despair and self loathing. In those dark moments, that is who I am, but it isnt who I have to be. I will "act as if" I am a perfect and beautiful human being capable of accepting and facing my difficult emotions and working through them so I can be at peace and balance.
I also feel you on the work getting in the way of the work. I often times experience a pinnacle in my self growth and then lean back in to my work, neglecting the maintenance necessary to remain in balance. Your article and the tips and tools you share have inspired me to get back in to the swing of things with my self-work.
For me some good tips and tools include:
Thanks again Kenny. I have really enjoyed your writing and it was great to get to hang out in Acapulco. Cant wait to see you in Austin!!!
So wonderful brother! I'm glad this resonated with you, and really love doing this kind of content for exactly this reason!!
My early years of "waking up" involved a LOT of Molyneux, because he used to put out a lot of great content haha. Those call-in shows were always so, so great, and I definitely got a lot of help on this path from him.
I have to say, of all the tools, quotes, insights, etc. that I've gotten, those few words: "act as if" has definitely been the most potent. I started acting as if years ago, and now for the most part I just am, minus the little hiccups. So I keep moving the vision forward, to a better and better possibility that becomes clear as I move in the right direction, and just keep acting as if.
So glad my journey can help you on yours, and I'm very much looking forward to dropping in again soon. Love you brother!
Thanks for sharing so much heart Kenny! Got sucked into my first Steemit portal after watching your Steemit tip video about the intro post and your last Anarchapulco interview with Nathan! Happy to see your momentum carrying into the unknown soon..see ya out there in the waves of life!
Right on Kenny! See you on Tuesday!
Be well bruddha!
Nice to learn a little more about you, too!
Wow amaizg pics and ideas thanks to share
Amazing article Kenny! Theres times that im such a workaholic, that little voice inside me shouts, "Do some yoga or go out to the park and meditate" Thankyou for sharing ! ☺👍💯