How I am, How I want myself to be and Who they want me to be

Short tought about #music :
I play Violin, yes, and I know for real who I want to be with music at this moment. I play since almost, 9 years ago. I was good at first time. I mean, Good as they Want me to be. I played like they told me and I know for sure that If I was keeping playing like they told me I should be in a orquestra as they want me to , but not being happy at all.
If you read my blog, Im sure, you would say that I always say that "Classical world" is not a happy place. It isn't, you're always fighting to be the best and let me tell you; that person doesn't exist.
Mistakes are necessary . Bad times. Crisis. Pain.
Music is about experiences. If you don't have nothing to say, you're playing like a record. Do you want to be a CD? I'm not. That's why I left my "Academic's"

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY

I played Violin at improvisation, I love that. Playing horrible and playing bad to play beautifull and good. I played rock , blues, celtic and classical. What I want to say? That I play. I don't know how but Im happy, and I dont know for sure if my classical friends are as happier as me.
When you read about Mozart: #Mozart was an alcoholic. Like #beethoven or #brahms and everyone that classical lovers consider like genious.
So, Why do they hate those who are different? Why is so difficult to express yourself when you're saying something else, something different?