My "A TALE OF GRATITUDE - LIFE EXPERIENCE CONTEST-10 SBD PRIZE POOL" Entry

I’ve had what a lot of people would consider a tough life. I had one alcoholic verbally and psychologically abusive parent and one physically abusive parent. I was abused almost daily as a child, whether it was verbal, physical, or other abuse, by the people that were supposed to protect me, my family. I had the misfortune to have my neighbor kill himself in front of me and found my aunt dead in the tub after she’d been there a few days in my early teens, trauma’s like those stay with you. As a child I thought either God didn’t exist or that He hated me for some reason. As I got older I decided that God didn’t exist because if He did and let all those things happen to me then He didn’t care about me, so I wouldn’t care about him.

I joined the military after I completed high school and got to travel for the first time. My first tour of duty was to Macedonia, we had to go to the sight of a mass grave being emptied out, that visual and the smell are something you can never forget or describe adequately to someone who’s never been near one, but it stays with you forever. There were buildings in ruins, homes with bullet holes through them everywhere, dead animal carcasses rotting along the sides of the roads, it was ghastly, but it made me so appreciative of living in Canada.

My second tour of duty was to Bosnia, where our vehicles came under attack on more than one occasion. There were a lot of locals that appreciated us being there, but there were locals that resented us being there as well and we never knew which ones we’d run into when we had to go out on convoys. It was scary, but it was rewarding as well because we helped a lot of people and thankfully I was on deployment with a lot of wonderful people that I’ll be friends with for the rest of my life.

When I got home from my second tour my husband and I were having issues, difficulty reconnecting and we even talked about getting a divorce. It was at that time that I surrendered everything up and asked God to be real, to forgive me, to help me through it all. The moment I did that it was like a huge weight was lifted off me. I felt so much lighter, so at peace and I knew He had taken the burden off my shoulders. It was an amazing feeling. :D

When I had to leave the military due to injury I didn’t know what I was going to do, but by that time my husband and I had worked through most of our issues and decided we would move to New Brunswick to be closer to his family, as I wasn’t close with mine. We decided to buy a plot of land and build our forever home. We started our homestead and haven’t looked back since. :D

Now don’t get me wrong, we made a lot of mistakes along the road, but we kept plugging away and eventually we got to the point where we could have our little herd, our piglets, and our chickens all living happily on our homestead. Now we are anxiously awaiting the birth of our first calf on the homestead. All this to say, God is good always, even when we don’t realize what He’s doing or what His plans are, they are always plans to make our lives better. I think sometimes we get in His way, but He always gets us back on track when we ask Him to.

Life isn’t easy, He never promised it would be, but each of us must choose if we want to let the bad things define us or just help shape us. I chose the latter thankfully. :D

I’ve learned to appreciate every single blessing in my life. Now don’t get me wrong, there are days when things are going bad and I have my momentary “pity party” or get angry, but then I remember my blessings and decide to think of those “bad” things as temporary obstacles, nothing more, and then things start to get better because my attitude shifts and gets better. :D

God bless you all. :D Have an awesome day everyone! :D

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