I won't expend anymore energy than they are willing to reciprocate.

I think this is a good standard but it gets iffy when one is invested in the outcomes for another. For example, If would like my wife to learn so if something happens to me, she is capable of continuing and teaching our daughter. Do I cut her loose? Just an example :)

The idea of personal responsibility has been diminished in these modern times. Many seek to externalize blame.

I feel that this is an engineered control mechanism that is learned but, that is another post perhaps.

When I contemplate this I'm reminded of the Pareto principle, the 80/20 rule.

And the 80 say 'it isn't fair'.

Those of us who are leaders must stoically move forward, like the captains of ships seeking to find great bounties to share with our hard working and obedient crew.

I like the imagery :)