Two friends. Paddy to the O'Brien, "I got beaten to an inch of my life yesterday." O'Brien to Paddy ask " You do look bruised and battered,How?"

Paddy- "Well, I was in an elevator about to press the button for my floor, when his stunning woman with gorgeous large breast steps in, all I could see were these two lovely examples of womanhood about to pop out of her bra, with her bra struggling to contain their precious cargo and a blouse that really was a no show in terms of actually providing cover. My eyes were glued and fixated on the best mammeries these eyes have ever had the fortune of witnessing." Then she asked me to "Please press 1."

"SO I DID!"

Pierre the French fighter pilot is picnicking with his new fiances Cindy on the banks of the Seine river in Paris, before being shipped out to the Eastern front at the commence of the First World War. Both are feeling a little amorous and they are in an isolated area, well away from the general public. Pierre starts to slowly undo Cindy's blouse, purposely taking his time with each and every button, he fiddles with the hooks to her bra and smiles excitingly as each hook is released with a re-assuring pop. Finally he removes the garment with a panache flair. Cindy happy with all that is happening is constantly " Ohhhhing and ummmming". Suddenly, Pierre pulls out a bottle of white wine and pours it all over Cindy's glistering breast. Cindy, "Oh, Pierre; what are you doing?" To which Pierre replies, " I am Pierre the French fighter pilot.

White meat deserves white wine, only for you my dear." Pierre continues, he removes her top and blouse but this time he pulls out a bottle of fine French red wine and pours it slowly over Cindy's mid riff. Cindy- "Ohhhhh Pierre, what are you doing?". Pierre replies, "I am Pierre the French fighter pilot, red meat deserves the finest red wine, for you my dear." Pierre continues further, he slowly and diligently removes Cindy's under garment.By this stage Cindy is beside herself, she is filled with anticipation and the "Ohhhhhs and ummmmms" become more numerous as she excitingly awaits what is about to unfold. Pierre pulls out a bottle of Cognac and pours it over Cindy's nether regions. Suddenly he pulls out a lighter and ignites Cindy's nether region, there is an almighty roar as the concoction explodes. Cindy leaps into the air and leaps even further in the Seine river. Cindy- "What the FUCK was that, Pierre!"

"I am Pierre the French fighter pilot, If I am going down, I am going down in FLAMES!!!!!"

If you enjoyed any of the jokes, please check out my other post:

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/8-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-and-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/7-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-and-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/6-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-motivation-and-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/5-laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others-4

Images sourced from Pixabay, free images, free clipart and google images.

Mr Bean :SOURCE

Thank you for your most valued support : @hr1,@agar,@needavote,@hodlor,@jmehta,@marypeace,@nihass,@alinana,@leadmotivation,@member11softcare ,@top10ranker ,@westart,@riziqasshiddiq,@amponchiek,@pavel-p,@pulsar,@cryptos and the many others who have given me inspiration on this wonderful platform!

ANSWER : 38 C