[BREAKING NEWS] Twitter suspends President-elect Trump's account in attempt to stave off WW3

in #funny8 years ago (edited)


Twitter suspended the account of President-elect Donald Trump late Tuesday evening in an effort to stave off World War 3.

A Twitter spokesperson stated:

Twitter prefers a world in which we are all alive, thus it is with deep regret that we have chosen to suspend the President-elect's account, @realDonaldTrump, due to his continued harassment of political leaders worldwide.

The decision by Twitter comes after President-elect Trump unleashed a tirade of insults directed toward various foreign heads of state, followed by threats of nuclear action once he takes office. No one knows exactly what sparked the increase in his offensive Twitter activity, but it is speculated that an insult from Russian President Vladimir Putin during a phone conversation left Mr. Trump unhinged. Shortly after their conversation Trump tweeted:





When questioned about what may have caused the out-lash from Mr. Trump, President Putin responded:

I simply ask him if he prefer marionette or hand puppet. I suggest hand puppet.

After lashing out at Putin, Trump went on the offensive and began insulting heads of state in an incoherent manner, the likes of which only Trump is capable.









News of Trump's Twitter storm resulted in heightened military tensions world-wide as ally and enemy countries alike began preparing for a President Trump. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter, left a statement before shutting down Mr. Trump's account on Tuesday:

War is looking imminent. We have no choice. This maniac must be stopped. My deepest apologies for letting this go on for so long.




Twitter-less Trump disappeared for several hours after receiving the Twitter ban. He only re-emerged after he was able to establish his presence on a new social network called Steemit, which rewards its users with cryptocurrency called Steem.

At first Steemit users objected to the presence of Mr. Trump on the platform. Each time he threatened nuclear war the community flagged his post to decrease its visibility, but the President-elect did not take kindly to this form of attack. In response Mr. Trump purchased all available Steem at market price to become the largest stakeholder in the platform, thus making him immune to censorship. Consequently the price of Steem has increased nearly 10,000% and President-elect Trump has found a new megaphone to continue his assault on all things decent.






Sort:  

I am not grabbing that pussy. Nuked!

LOL Classic line... :-D

I had to throw reference to Mr. Trump's pussy grabbing in somewhere.

I'm stealing @darkflame 's gif for this one. :-)

I really wish I would have thought of this. Good job!

Thanks! It is not really my style to do 'The Onion' style pieces such as this, but when I thought of this idea it just had to be written.

Keep up the good work with yours posts. I love em'!

we had the same president for 8 years and he pushed us 50 years back. something tells me Donald will do the same to US.

Thanks for the comment. I sure hope you are wrong.

I hope that too, wont be good for anyone around the world.

Hey @rigaronib. Happy to make you laugh.

I just trolled Trump on Twitter with this post. It was kinda fun. I think I might continue in the future.

brayanjaguar Brian Howell tweeted @ 11 Jan 2017 - 01:40 UTC

@realDonaldTrump no trump, this is fake news...

steemit.com/funny/@mynamei… / https://t.co/FUjhjk2Q6e

The news you refer to is very much real.

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.

Pure gold, bro! Your sense of humor is the best.

Awesome! Thanks as always Randy. I'd love to see this post gain a little traction outside of Steemit and hopefully bring in some new users. I tweeted it also, but unfortunately I am not the most active on Twitter.

RandyHilarski Randy Hilarski tweeted @ 11 Jan 2017 - 00:14 UTC

[BREAKING] #Twitter suspends President-elect Trump account to stave off WW3 😂🤣@Steemit #FakeNewstwitter.com/i/web/status/8…

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.

Very funny, I actually checked first and then I read the post. Pure comic genius.

What a powerful statement for us all... Let's see if it will actually help stop this madness on the long-run. Let's cross our fingers and unite. Thanks a bunch, all for one and one for all! Namaste :)

Twitter is already turning into a sjw utopia. I get satire, but censoring is never the solution.

It's a private company banning trump was their free speech....... or do you only like it when it applies to you?

Twitter can do whatever the hell they want as far as I am concerned. They owe their users nothing and owe their investors everything. That's just how the model works.

If you think censoring the duly elected President Elect of the country would benefit Twitter's investors, you're not seeing the same reality as me.

@ericwilson's comment refers to censorship in general, not specifically banning Trump. Plus this piece is just some fun.

Here is a more reasonable example: https://steemit.com/news/@mynameisbrian/martin-shkreli-suspended-from-twitter-following-allegations-of-harassment

I was speaking for myself. You are right, a private company can do what ever it wants, and I can choose to go elsewhere. Twitter (to me) is not worth the memory space on my phone.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAh i almost had a heart attack, at first.

Sorry about the heart attack.

no worries. I am forwarding to you the cardiologist's bill.

OK, as long as the doctor accepts SBD we're good.

Seems accurate

unfortunately :(