I am Lord Vader, Ask me Anything: Episode III
Greetings loyal followers.
My executive assistant Vera, who consistently has the highest score in outstanding achievement in the field of excellence, has informed me that I have gained a tremendous amount of followers over the course of the last seven months of your calendar. In fact, it has been reported that I am now the most popular figure on the steemit platform. Far more popular than anyone who has come before me. When the history of the platform is written, I will assuredly be the most popular ever.
I'm kind of a big deal.
I realize that news outlets are reporting that I only have 2639 followers and that losers like @thecryptofiend have far more, but my numbers are clearly being artificially deflated in an attempt by my enemies in the news reporting agencies to discredit my awesomeness. Of course that is fool's errand.
Wait. Vera has just informed me that @thecryptofiend is one of my most loyal followers and that I should not have called him a loser. Luckily I did not or would not ever call him a loser. Anyone who said I called him one is clearly a liar. (Except for Vera. If she said that, then it is because some liar lied to her and told her I said that even though I clearly didn't. Luckily she never said that either.)
Anyway back to the point. Since my last direct communication with my loyal followers, their numbers have multiplied over 1,138,000 times. Oh I see the problem now. Dennis (the Empire's IT guy) just informed me of a phenomenon on your planet called "flipping the game". Apparently that is what occurs when a number reaches its maximum point and then needs to reset to zero and start over. Clearly that is what has happened to my number of followers. It seems that counter "flips" at just over 7 billion.
I also flipped over all of the furniture the one time the game cheated and made me lose.
Vera, who you should thank every second of your miserable lives, suggested that since I have gained so many new followers, I should open up the lines of communication with your system once more.
I am Lord vader, using the comment section below, you may now Ask Me Anything. I will answer those queries that I deem worthy of my attention.
I'm kind of a dig deal
Flipping the game
You better make it good
Lord Vader, what a coincidence!
Every day in January you will find me blogging about quality men's shoes.
Today's pair, posted 10 hours ago, looks like they would be PERFECT for you.
Please, tell all 14 brazilian (that's a lot, right?) of your followers, if these are the sort of shoes you would wear to stomp on the throats of rebel scum when you get bored of force-choking them...
Are those snake skin? Alligator? Either way, those are too stylish to ever let them touch a rebel scum.
I would wear them for....
Dancing!
Powerful Vader!
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
Why choose? I have a lightsaber... and the freaking Force.
But if I had to, I'd go by taste. I think the duck would be more delicious after I finished it off.
If every 2 minutes you are attacked by five second graders; and every ten minutes (5 waves) there is also a fifth grader to help them, and they are all trying to kill you. There are no weapons and are in a flat open area.
How long before you succumb to them?
Never.
I am lordvader!
I have some experience fighting younglings.
Not the younglings...
never
Oh Lord, can you tell us more about your relationship with Janis Joplin?
She even made a song where she mention you a lot.
Ah one of the benefits of a non-linear timeline. I remember her like it were yesterday. She and Vera are perhaps my two favorite beings of all time (not counting myself).
I met her at your Monterey Pop Festival when she was the lead singer of Big Brother and the Holding Company.
I found her work in the Kozmic Blues Band to really speak to me. As you know I am featured in a documentary that is quite cosmic.
She also seemed to be speaking directly to me when she sung about a "Piece of her heart". I felt she was referencing the fact that I have lost many body parts and am more machine than man now.
I am not sure if you are aware, but I am quite a musician. https://steemit.com/funny/@lordvader/how-the-light-side-vs-dark-side-beef-really-started
Anyway, she kept asking me for a "Mercedes Benz" (whatever that is). I got her a Porsche instead.
Oh and a space station the size of a small moon.
Haven't seen her in a while. I miss her.
She's still great and one with The Force!
Why didn't you come to my birthday party?
superb dude really enjoyed
Tell me O Vader, tell me the secrets of the universe, the meaning of life and existence! Answer me for I seek knowledge.
42
Didn't see that coming xD
what really happened on Tatooine?
I killed a bunch of dirty sand people.
foolish as always ani.
next time maybe you can consider bathing them, in soap that you sell them from factories you hire them at, paid for by the taxes you collect from them.
Funny post. My question is what is your prediction for STEEM price at the end of the year.
The steem price will rise in direct relation to my number of followers.
Have you tasted porg? I've heard from a hairy chap that they roast nicely over an open fire.
You mean this jerk?
And people say I'm "evil". That smelly walking carpet is literally leading porgs to a slaughter.
And yes. I got this recipe off of @gringalicious 's blog.
It's to die for!