Some driving jokes.

in #funny7 years ago

Never stop driving.
A group of pensioners were discussing their medical problems at the Day Centre coffee morning. 'Do you realise,' said one, 'My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.'
'Yes, I know.' replied the second, 'My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee.'
'I can't turn my head,' rejoined the third, 'because of the arthritis in my neck.'
'My blood pressure pills make my dizzy,' commented the fourth, adding, 'I guess that's the price we pay for getting old.'
'Well, it's not all bad.' piped up the first, 'We should be thankful that we can still drive.'

Young vs Old
Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'
The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.'
This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW. Car Jokes
The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?'
Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'

Lada
What's the difference between a Lada and a golf ball?
You can drive a golf ball 200 metres