TODAY'S JOKE and NEWS (Are you "gullible?" Take the test).

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

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Video by Joe Caffeine

(Are you gullible? Take the test)

TODAY IS... (these are real days)

  • Get to Know Your Customer Day
  • International Chess Day
  • Moon Day
  • Nap Day
  • National Fortune Cookie Day
  • National Lollipop Day
  • National Ugly Truck Contest Day

REAL NEWS HEADLINES (and Joe's comments)

  • The White House revealed that President Trump had an undisclosed hour long meeting with Vladimir Putin at the G-20 Summit.
    JOE: No word yet on whether or not Putin was wearing a shirt.

  • A University of Warwick study found that 4 in 10 people can't tell a fake picture from a real one.
    JOE: Here's a helpful hint: If the picture has Chris Christie on a beach chair, IT'S FAKE.

  • 86-year-old international jewel thief Doris Payne was arrested for shoplifting at a Georgia Walmart.
    JOE: She was immediately offered a job as a door greeter.

CELEBRITY NEWS

  • Kenny Rogers has announced plans for a star-studded farewell show with Dolly Parton.
    JOE: Looks like he finally figured out when to fold ‘em.

SPORTS NEWS

  • Insiders say Carmelo Anthony told the Knicks he doesn’t want to return to the team next season.
    JOE: But the Knicks say they can think of 20 million reasons for him to stay.

ON THIS DAY

  • 1954... Elvis Presley gave his first public performance, playing on a flatbed truck parked outside a drug store in Memphis.

  • 1973... Martial arts movie star Bruce Lee died.

TODAY'S QUOTE

  • “Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for.” -Oliver James

TODAY'S INTERESTING FACT

  • Bolts of lightning can shoot out of an erupting volcano.

TODAY'S JOKE

  • If you say the word "gullible" real slow, it sounds just like "oranges."

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Hehe. Thanks for the morning report :)
Back in the early 2000's there was an e-mail called Clean Laughs ( or clean laffs?) which sent out some family friendly jokes every day. This reminds me a lot of those emails.
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You're welcome, please come back for more. Thank you @moderndragon