How to Make Money on the Internet (nonsteem) with Crazy Hack!

in #funny7 years ago

Here on steemit there is one master rule for rolling in the moneys: consistently create high quality original content. This sort of meritocratic earning platform works great for some but what about the rest of us? Well great news; ANYONE can be a content creator on the internet!

A Crash Course on Technology and the Internet

Before I start the steps I'll will warn those with little technical skill this method involves using multiple websites and while doable on a mobile device is best performed on traditional internet device known as a "computer."


What is a computer?

A computer is a traditional device that connects to the internet that is typically larger than a phone or tablet. A computers has unique input controls known as a keyboard and a moose. A keyboard will look similar to what you use to type with on your phone but is a physical manifestation of that concept that is separate from your screen and always visible. A moose is a primitive device use to tap on things without touching your screen. These are important for the hacking trick later so I recommend buying whats called a laptop as it comes with both pre-attached to the computer. Computers are purchased exclusively at Walmart,Targe, and Costco from what I can tell and can be setup by a young relative.


What is the internet?

The internet is made up of primarily 3 places Facebook, Reddit, and other sites like yours that will link to Facebook and reddit.


Facebook

facebook-logo-966BBFBC34-seeklogo.com.png

Facebook is basically the internet for anyone who isn't a nerd or under 40. This will be the primary way your content is reached.


Reddit

reddit-logo.jpg
Reddit is basically like Facebook but for people under 40 with an IQ above 95. This where your content will be generated.


Well now that you have a strong understanding of the internet and technology we can finally start!


Generating Your Content in 5 Easy Steps


Step one: Open the internet and go to Reddit.com

reddit.png

Step two: Click on "ASKREDDIT" on the top of your screen

askreddit.png

Step three click on a link:

link.png

Step four: Hack the planet!



Hacking the content from Reddit involves an old technique known as "copypasta". This is where that mouse and keyboard come into play so pay close attention.
hack.png

First click and drag with your moose to select some text. You don't to proofread it just select the first large chuck of text you see near the top. They to "copy" use your keyboard and hold the CONTROL key (very powerful key for hacking sometimes labeled "ctrl" on the keyboard) then hit the letter "C" . Then open a notepad and press CONTROL and the letter "V" then the text will be hacked into your notepad though a process known as "pasta". Repeat this process 7-12 times to generate enough content for an article

Step five: There is no step 5!

You've just generated valuable content without writing anything in less than 100 keystrokes! In the time its taken to read this article so far you could have already created enough content to make about 6 lists to post on hot sites like brainjet or popsugar!


Alright were almost there. But the next section is quite advanced so make sure you take a lot of notes to give to the guy you hired off craigslist to setup your website.


Professional Content Formatting Guidelines for your Content



Here we get into the fundamentals of modern web design and lay our best practices for both deskop and mobile viewing.

Elements of Style:

  • Your main site should be about a 60/40 split of sponsored content and articles.
  • Each article you publish should contain about 7 - 12 of the stories you hacked earlier.
  • The article should have a provocative and slightly misleading title.
  • You will need a generic looking stock photo for each of the stories as well which may or may not bear any sort of connection to the story.
  • To protect from any allegation of plagiarism you will also need to post a link that says "source" in the tiniest font you can find under each heading.



Desktop and Mobile Formatting



Mobile: This is where your energy needs to be placed since 90% of your traffic will come from people clicking on ads for your article off of Facebook anyway. Formatting for mobile is equal part science and art form so I will go pretty in depth on the established and proper way for your site to be formatted.

A good satisfying article will need to have about 30-50 pages long so each page should look like this:

  • Two ad banners
  • The irrelevant stock photo
  • One to three sentences of your story content
  • Five more ads
  • A "Next Page" button
  • An ad that is confusingly similar to the "next page button"
  • Links to another 10 stories at the bottom from "around the web"

General Tips

  • About 1/2 way though the article a flashing ad should take over the screen saying your device has a virus. This will create danger and excitement for our reader! As an added bonus if the reader wants to finish reading your valuable content they will need to go back or close their app then find and restart the article from the beginning netting you 50% more page views.
  • When generating a tagline for your lists of stories always make sure it references the last story so there is suspense as the reader struggles to make it to the end without their app crashing.
  • Having to hit the next button 30+ times grants the reader a sense of pride and accomplishment if they finish your article.

Desktop: Most everyone uses mobile anyway and desktop users tend to steal your valuable content by use of ad blocking software as well. So make sure there is a harassing banner that comes up to try and shame the reader to disable the ad-blocker then you can just throw it all into one page with about 50 ads between the article and the content section and be done with it. But if you feel your community would benefit from more continuity between desktop and mobile experiences then ignore what I just said and format it with the exact mobile guidelines as above.


Promotion: Advertise Your Content on Facebook

As I mentioned earlier Facebook is the core of the internet and Facebook users are always hungry for new and innovative content. So they will always be delighted to see lists like yours promoted on their feeds. Facebook users on mobile who haven't found how to get to their advertising settings should see posts like yours mixed with posts from their friends and family on about a 1:1 basis.

Sort:  

Citing a source doesn't protect you from plagiarism (copyright infringement) charges.

Please don't spread misinformation. You still need explicit permission to reprint other people's intellectual property, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Hello friend! I have used tags to describe content of article. If you use dictionary or Google you can find meaning of tags it may help you understand context and meaning of article. Thank you friend!

I understand it's satire, however there are people who actively do this. Especially in my field of work (online marketing).

And no joke, most get away with it.

Ahh got it. Ya there are about 4 sites I see advertised often on my FB feed that generate content though the exact method I describe. No joke 1/2 of the content they make is just "hey look what we copypasted from Reddit or other forums and added a bunch of ads to".

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