Offence is taken, not given

in #funny8 years ago (edited)

First of all, It’s impossible to not offend anyone ever. Different people take offense in different things… It depends on how they interpret it, their background, their values, their religion, their experiences, their menstrual cycle…. So many factors can change an opinion or a reaction. But you can choose to be a constant pain in the ass for everyone ooooor you can just be a decent cohabiting humanbeing and let people do their own shit. Live and let live….. I mean, some people are still offended by public breast feeding or PDA*. Like seriously… If you are, fuck you. And if you have other friends like you, fuck them too.

We are extremely lucky to live in a place where self expression is embraced and freedom of speech is protected… but still, some words can be offensive when you talk about racism or sexism for instance, I get it. I would get offended myself if I hear someone talking about white supremacy or male dominance… Some conversations trigger that inner activist for equality I have. So I figure… maybe some conversations about gay sex or prostitution trigger the inner whatever (read here ignorant) some people have. But why am I even talking about those individuals? You’re not one of them,right? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here reading me…. you would be having a caramel drizzle white mocha soy latte alone with your judgements and your ugly self. Bye Felicia.

However, offending people can be fun too. We all do it a little on purpose sometimes. It creates a reaction, a negative response that can be nevertheless positively entertaining. My mom used to be my best ‘victim’… Her being very catholic, I often tested the limits by talking about delicate subjects to the Church in order to get her heated reaction. So I was openly talking about sex, drugs and mischiefs with my brothers in front of her, but my mom ended up being too cool to get offended, so it never really worked on her. She thinks I’m funny even though she doesn’t approve my lifestyle choices, she would still laugh while she’s shaking her head. She respects who I am and I will always be grateful for it. Love you mom.

You probably noticed that I cuss a lot too… It’s my way of spicing up my sentences, that’ all… It puts flavour to the rest of the words… it amplifies the content. Something could be amazing, but something fucking amazing is outstandingly amazing….and I don’t use the word ‘outstandingly’. When I came back from Australia where I stayed for nearly 2 years, I started using ‘cunt’ like they do over there…i.e: always, for anything, with anyone, for any reason. I just felt in love with the word. It could sound harsh at first, but when you get to know it, it becomes sweet to the ear, I swear… It depends how you use it, really. If I call you a dumb cunt, it is meant to be offensive but if I call you a mad cunt, it’s because you’re fun and I like you lots…. I guess it’s the equivalent of calling someone a bitch Vs a bad bitch….. So anyways, I already tried to stop swearing, but I just cunt ;)….. Sorry. not sorry.

I believe in what Charlie Chaplin once said… that a day without laughter is a day wasted. Life is way too short to be serious all the time, or even half the time in my case…. but some people must have something stocked up their ass that prevents them to release endorphins because they can’t even take jokes. A joke is meant to make you laugh…if it doesn’t, it might just not be the joke for you… It’s all good, we all have different type of humour, right? But don’t get all shook up if someone is trying to pull out a smile from your bitch resting face…
I know some jokes can be pretty disturbing when they refer to rape or dead babies for example…. but you know what’s the best about dead baby jokes? They never get old….(ha-ha)
Seriously, racial jokes are pretty funny too… personally, the Jew ones are my favourite. Eh! What’s the difference between circumcision and crucifixion? ………. In a crucifixion, they throw away the whole Jew (lol) or or or… Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? ……..Cause they like the part where the hooker gives the money back… (Jew get it?)
Handicapped people? You can’t really laugh about them, it’s sad. But if you ever asked yourself if it’s hard to be a paraplegic… I heard it's no picnic, unless your version of a picnic is being the basket… (crackin’)
Ok. Ok. I’ll stop… I was about to tell a gay joke, butt fuck it…Gay jokes are never funny, cum on guys….

LOL.

For a conclusion, I want to specify that I am not a racist person, I do have a lot of respect for people that deserves it and I'm not running around cursing and insulting people... But when I write, I write from my guts... If it insults you somehow, don't give me shit about it.... I won't care. I'm all about self expression.... mine, yours, everyone. Please enjoy and don't be a cunt. ;)

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You are hilarious! Thanks for making us feel sane. ;)

haha you're welcome ;)